April 9, 2006

8:08 AM - 4/9/06
~Human animals suck

The cats woke me up. I don't keep cats, but there are quite a few that live near the building I live in. Apparently, some of the people who also live in this building think that it's a nice thing to feed these strays. They also think that a birdhouse belongs in the tree outside my bedroom window. So, between the birds and the cats begging for food, it sounds like a damn pet store about sunrise. Then, of course, people have to put out the dogs, who love to talk back and forth directly through the building I live in.

What the fuck is wrong with people?! Why the hell can't people take care of each other before finding other animals to make them feel special and important?


1:21 PM - 4/9/06
~On a bar napkin

(part of the Scraps project)

     I sit in a seedy go-go bar. I'm
a regular. Hm. I see you in my mind's
eye. You're saying how you had such high
hopes for me, that you wanted better for
me than this. I wonder what that "better"
was. Where would I be now if I'd lived
up to your expectations. Home in bed with
my back turned to some beautiful, clueless
woman whom I could never love. I'd be
awake, staring at the all too familiar dim
outline of my bedroom wall and out a window
framed in perfect curtains, wondering...
wondering what it was like to be a regular in
a seedy go-go bar.


5:18 PM - 4/9/06
~Being Normal

(part of the Scraps project)

Normal is the closest that you can come to death and still be breathing.


6:34 PM - 4/9/06
explosion

It's odd... depression and anger... they seem to occur at the same time...

Negativity, I suppose.

I hate the world. I hate everyone. THIS HURTS!!!
I love the world. I love everyone. THIS HURTS!!!

There's something wrong with my brain... there's something REALLY wrong with my brain!!!... and IT HURTS!!!

I want to kill you. I want to kill myself.
I don't want to kill you. I don't want to kill myself.

I hide. I protect you. I protect me.

MAKE IT STOP!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!


Make it end in a good way... please?


7:01 PM - 4/9/06

All I want is some KFC. I just need a ride down the street. I want to walk it, but I'm scared I'll get lost. I'm scared it'll get dark too... it's almost 7. I just want some stupid fucking chicken. ...but no... too bad. People with MS don't get KFC. People with MS get to suck their own ass.

FUCK YOU