The most precious thing I have?

A piece of looseleaf paper with this written on it:

Jan31

Hey -

I love you - Everything will be okay - Always remember that!

It's a note from the girl I fell in love with in High School - and didn't fall out of love with until... until...

Until everything is "okay", I'll never part with it.

I am.

I am my own conscience... my own God. No one tells me what to do... no one tells me what not to do, except for myself. I don't worry about heaven. I AM heaven.

I'll tell you what... if I woke up tomorrow and found out that all the bible thumpers were right, I'd go to Hell knowing that I did the best I could.

(Concerning the varied definitions of vampires)

I'm the sort who prefers to define things for myself, not based on one person's definition, but usually on my own experience, and a conglomeration of all that I've read and heard, weeding out what I believe to be the truth from what I believe to be false. It's not too important that we all agree on a set definition, just that we agree to allow each other the the opportunity to have our own definitions, and take the time to hear each other out so that we can understand each other. All Vampires may not be like me, but that doesn't make them any less worthy of me calling them one. I have my own definition, and if someone doesn't fall into it, then inside I feel that they aren't a Vampire by my definition, but because they feel that they are a Vampire, I will call them such... it's just an issue of respect. We can sit and debate definitions all day, but in all likelihood, neither of us will change too much in what we know ourselves to be. Like any other label, "Vampire" means many things to many people. It's only important that you know who you are, that way when someone attempts to rip the label off of you, or stick one on you, it won't be so big of a deal.

Protecting the eyes of the young.

Although I'm never a big supporter of that which may give anyone nightmares, my main reason for being upset was not that... nor was it based on my not agreeing with the opinions of the author, as everyone has a right to their own opinion. My main concern is that I'm a Vampire. I've heard and taken crap all my life about it. It wasn't always acceptable on even an underground level. There once was no Vampire (real or otherwise) scene to speak of... what there was was SO underground you could barely find it, even if you used a microscope. I live in Philadelphia, and in the tri-state area (PA, NJ, DE) I met only one other person in my years of searching (pre-Internet) who claimed Vampirism. to this day, I've met a grand total of 3 face to face. I've had my hands full attempting to reeducate everyone I choose to be honest with, as there aren't many of us out here attempting to do it.

There are plenty of fictional sources out there to misinform kids and cause then to hate/fear/judge me. The last thing I need to read is something suggesting to my kids (if I had them) that I'm some sort of a monster who delights in killing people and making women scream... especially in an arena which does its best to dispel the myths.

Like I said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and as well, everyone is unique. Perhaps there are some out there who feel and act as the author does. Perhaps there are even Vampires who do... but what it boils down to, is that what was being described was both frightening and illegal. To me, what it did was to suggest that Vampires are pain inflicting criminals at heart. Although I cannot be locked up for my fantasies, I can be locked up for my actions. If it gets into the heads of the masses that Vampires are criminals, then I have to spend my life being scrutinized and suspected... and feared.

The first time my kid showed signs of fearing for their life while in a room with me, my heart would break.

I wouldn't want my kid to read that, not only because I think that they might have nightmares... but because I wouldn't want to play the leading role in them.

In a past life?

I was a piece of shyt, dirty, smelly, blacksmith's son... not even really his son actually... he just took me in.

I loved a woman, and died loving her.

*shrugs*

-98-

She appears
To offer me her corpse
To hold to my own shell

She appears
To offer me her heart
To beat in time with mine

She appears
To give me her soul's breath
To inhale into mine

And I appear to her
To give my life to her
To end this death of ours

"What is a Were?"

By my definition, a "Were" is a human who has a different level of awareness than most other humans. This awareness allows them to "shift" ...that is, to enter a state where they resemble a being other than themselves. These shifts happen on the mental, spiritual, and physical levels.