Hello (16) - VIII

Going to get a shower.

darn

Letters to People Come and Gone

Dear Adam,

The Cure makes me think of you.

- Jon

"Old" Music (10)

R.E.M.

R.E.M.

R.E.M. R.E.M. R.E.M.


Wrote this once.

Perfect

Thanks, for choosing now to be born.

It was perfect.

Perfect.

Under my clothing... (3)

Time to restart

Height: 65.5 inches
Weight: 142 pounds

(in inches)
-------------
wrist: 6.25
neck: 14
chest: 35
waist: 33
hip: 35
bicep: 12
forearm: 10.5
thigh: 22
calf: 14

Hello (16) - VII

I have no idea what I'm doing up. I was up until 4.

again

Damn cable is out.

pisses me the fuck off

(Snoood - II)

me? addicted?




child - 8950
easy - 9593
medium - 12257
hard - 16941
evil - 666
puzzle - 56262
journey - 31001

Along with the rest of my crap

I have shaving issues.

(*rolls eyes*)

Hello (16) - VI

If I shave, and hold my breath...

(Bunny?)

He's white, and looks pissed off. He's been with me since 1976 or '77.

Hello (16) - V

Cancelled the session.

Hello (16) - III, IV

10:38 AM
Of course there are clothes sitting in the washer. No one else needs to do their wash.

---

8:03 PM
Trying to fight off the urge to drink while aggressively aborting 95% of my Snood games.

Hello (16) - II

I'm here, zapping snoodles and half watching "The Others". It's on again at midnight. ;)

(paying)

In order to keep the board free of ads and to have a few extra nifty features, we pay. It's paid up through next year at the moment.

My favorite contributions are posts, though. ;) No need to donate cash. At least for now, we're covered.

Hello (16) - I

Thinking about watching "Vanilla Sky" in about an hour. Haven't seen it yet. If I get sucked into the movie, I'll just give you a snood when it's over.

(Dark Entertainment News... - VI)

Bob Keeshan ("Captain Kangaroo")

---

(Snoood - I)

I think it's a sign


Completely hooked.


child - 7045
easy - 7069
medium - 7530
hard - 13412
evil - 666 (I'm never playing at this level again. Getting 666 as the high score, on my 6th time playing the level, is just WAY too cool to fuck with!)

I want yer bod

If I could wake up tomorrow and have the body (not the mind or soul, just the body) of anyone else, whose body would I want to wake up in?

Patrick Swayze's.

Just a thought

There's a lot of power in being a Historian. You get to decide what is or isn't important enough for people to know.

Pretty darn powerful.

Hello (15) - XII

snooooooooooood

Links (3)

omigod. I am so addicted.

(The VH1 Kitties?)

I love those shorts! The first one I saw was "Karma Chameleon". I laughed pretty damn hard.

All videos should be done by cats!

(Favorite Movie Quote?)

Don't lick my eye! - Margaret Cho in "Notorious C.H.O."

Hello (15) - XI

Tomorrow is food store day...

Time to count the calories....

"Bella Donna" - Stevie Nicks

You can ride high atop your pony
I know you won't fall...
'cause the whole thing's phony.
You can fly swingin from your trapeze
Scaring all the people...
but you never scare me

Bella donna...
And we fight...for the northern star

No speed limit...this is the fast lane
It's just the way that it is here
And you say...I never thought it could

Bella donna...we fight...
for the northern star

And the lady's feeling
Like the moon that she loved
Don't you know that the stars are
A part of us
And the lady's feeling
Just like the moon that she loved

And you say...I never thought it could
Bella donna
Come in out of the darkness...

You are in love with...
And I'm ready to sail...
It's just a feeling...
Sort of captures your soul

Bella donna...

And the woman may be awestruck
And the woman may truly care
but the woman is so tired...
So the woman disappears...

Come in out of the darkness...

Bella donna...my soul...

Don't change...baby please don't change
And you say...
and your face becomes thin
You never thought it could
Come in out of the darkness
Bella donna...

You are in love with
And I'm ready to sail
It's just a feeling

(Movie Ticket - 5)

Thanks to a "free preview" of Showtime, this week, I got to see The Others.

Despite the plot holes, I really did like it. Loved the house.

Your days

1) When is your birthday?

2) What is the most important day of the year for you, other than your birthday?


My birthday - September 19, 1969
Other most important date: Samhain (Oct. 31 - Halloween)

Hello (15) - X

up and sneezing.

Hello (15) - IX

Canceled the appointment. Head's messy.

I'll call as soon as it gets to a semi-decent spot. If I can't, I'll do my best to post. Just don't worry if you don't hear from me. Just have to get through.

(deciding on an avatar)

The thing with the "funny" or "cute" ones is that although I can be goofy, it's only sometimes that I am, especially while posting. I fear that if I choose one of the "cuter" ones, it won't last long.

All of them capture a part of me.

(NFL Football - 6)

North vs. South?

Goes without saying.

#10

She showed up on Classmates.com

I always really liked her. I'm glad that she's still alive. She was definitely one I was worried about making it. Wonder if she'll reply to my e-mail. I may well be part of her past that she'd just as soon forget.

Odd, I dreamt about school people last night. More about D. though. Funny, #10 was the only one I ever actually walked away from D. for. Shame it didn't last. It was a rough time though... especially for #10. ...talk about some fucked up parents...

I still have the tape she made me. Pretty cool tape. Goes from Patsy Cline to Led Zep through Pink Floyd. #10 had really good taste in music.

I hope she writes.

Hello (15) - VIII

sNoRk

(Why take children's vitamins?)

...other than that they're tasty and they're not as rough on the stomach as adult vitamins are, I've also found that taking one if I wake up with a sugar craving, like I do sometimes, kills it, and it's much healthier than eating a Kit Kat. ;)

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

This is just not the day to have the cable go out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5:25 pm

Still out. Fucking SHIT!!!!
Something about someone wrapping their car around a pole...

grrrr....

(NFL Football - 5)

The Patriots, warming the ball or not, deserved the win. They're the best team in the AFC right now. If they lose to the Colts, it'll be a fluke. I think they deserve a shot at the ring. I actually like the Colts, so if the Patriots end up losing, I won't be completely crushed, but I really think that right now, The Patriots are the best.

As for the NFC... the Eagles blow it all the time. I hope that we win. I don't like the Panthers. Are we the best in the NFC? I think that we can be. I don't think that the Panthers are. I'd be inclined to go with the Packers as the best... but... oops.

turning point (5)

I'm still trying to settle 100% on my own "turning point", but I think that maybe, at this point... if I had to change one decision... I would never have gone to Kentucky in '88. It was not a good decision, and other than the experience of it, did not directly cause anything too good to happen. To the contrary, it set many "bad" things in motion... Ended many things that I've yet to get over ending.

Hello (15) - VII

It's raining.
I'm sniffing.

Hello (15) - VI

With Night Breed, I agree (some plot holes)... (but yes) it's about the concept... and, of course, eye candy for us freaks. ;)

(Uh, Brr.) 6

It's at 6 (f) right now, but the winds are gusting up to 30 mph or so. Inside, it's about 45 (f). I'm actually getting used to it. My window is open to air the place out (got a smoke headache ).

(NFL Football - 4)

I really have no idea what I'm going to do if this comes down to Philly vs. New England. Root for the commercials? *lol*

(Uh, Brr.) 5

It really dropped overnight. I started off sweating, and woke up to 45 (f) again. :\

There's snow. Not much, but it's white.

Hello (15) - V

From everything that I've found, "Kilz" doesn't do anything but prime, cover and seal. Nothing about actually killing mold.

Hello (15) - IV

So, he never came back.

So, I had to call and plead my case with the apartment manager. Of course, it's the heat, it's drying out my nose. All I need is a humidifier. Right. Silly me.

Now I have to call tomorrow morning to talk with her and the head of maintenance. Fucking joy.


This is a fucking blade in the ass.


I need a drink.

Dragon Con (Board gathering) - 8

Well, Na., you're certainly at the top of my "people I want to meet" list. I don't know what's up for 2005 yet. I might be able to move, so all the money I could save would be going towards that, but, it might be possible (it damn well better be!) to scrape together enough for a train ride up to MA. Perhaps a low key visit will be possible? Maybe just a weekend with whomever can swing it hanging at a cheaper hotel and playing out the jukebox? A2 and I stayed at one that was really nice that even had a plan where you could have food included in the price.

(Uh, Brr.) 4

It's 39 (f) right now. Much better. :)


...and no, I can't do the thermal thing. They ITCH!

Dragon Con 2004 (w/A2 - 13)

5550 hours

Hello (15) - III

Gained 2 pounds.

Must've been the Doritos.

Al Key Hall

Well, the new record for my not drinking stands at 11 days. That's since October of '96. Not that I drank much, just a shot of whiskey, but I drank. Tasted like crap.

Damn head is a mess. I won't go into detailing in what way it's a mess. I don't think that I could do a very good job explaining, plus no one really wants to hear about it anyway. ok, maybe a couple of people don't mind, but in general, hearing about my fucked up head, I'm well aware, is not at the top of anyone's list.

Still gagging on the taste of that shot.

It's still better than the head meds.

(needing the lights on - 3)

I also have a metal pipe next to my bed.

Onward in therapy (5)

We're we though ... and still are.

I (we) work on ending that. I (most of us) don't like being a "we" at all. I often doubt (some of us don't believe) that it's true. I (many of us) think that focusing on the "we" stuff only makes me worse (makes the system more unstable).

(NFL Football - 3)

Last night's game was a nail biter. I really love games like that. If this comes down to New England vs. Philly though... ugh. What to do? :\

Baseball... ummm... I really don't care for it. Playing it is ok, but watching it is (to me) just one step ahead of watching golf. Very boring. I guess it just doesn't move fast enough, and most of the players do nothing but stand there and wait for the ball most of the game. Must be nice... millions of dollars for mostly just standing in a field.

(Uh, Brr.) 3

It's not so bad this morning. It's 50 (f) in here. I can deal with that. It could certainly be worse. If I lived further North, I'd be fuct. Hats off to you folks who live up there... or maybe I should say "Hats on!" I hear that we're getting whacked with another system in the next day or so. :\

(Bling Bling?)

"Bling Bling" sounds like a slang term for sex, to me. *lol*

turning point (4)

Often, I don't do a very good job of making things clear. :\

I guess that what I was attempting to get at is something along the lines of, "What wouldn't you sacrifice?", rather than, "What would you change that sucked poop?"

One little change would change everything after it. So... it's more about where the good things are in your life. How far back could you go before you hit the point where you'd say "No way in hell I'd sacrifice the experience of _________!" What decision would you make (if you had to) that would change your life, but yet preserve the best parts of it?

Onward in therapy (4)

I dunno... with some people it's about wanting them to be objective, with others it's wanting them to "take my side".

It's not so much about "blame"... but then sometimes it is. Depends on the day. Do I want others to want to kill my mother as intensely as I do? Depends on the day. Do I want people to understand why I want to kill my mother? Yes. It's not about "blame", it's about hurt, anger, ...RAGE. The whole thing is that it will always be my word against theirs... my word against the world's...

I do hope that one day I can grow to the point of it not mattering to me what others think, but I'm certainly not there yet. I'm still at the point where people's opinions matter to me. Still at the point where if someone takes the side of my parents or believes the crap that they or any other family member spews, I can barely control the rage. It's odd though... often, when that rage hits, it's not that I want to kill any of them, it's more myself that I want to do in. The "blame" shifts, and then I become such an awful person that I don't deserve to live... and the pain becomes so intense that I don't want to.

I go day to day. I try not to kill myself (blame myself), and I try not to kill others (blame them).

Just typing about this is giving my head a run for its money ...It's trying to shift... trying to switch... visions of razors dance in the back of my mind...

I desire a drink. I haven't had a drink yet this year. Sometimes I forget that my head is actually fucked up. I take their words to heart and blame alcohol... that's what they often blame... drugs and alcohol. It's not that my state of being was legitimate, it was something I did to myself. My fault. The blame is on me.

I never could prove it to them that it wasn't drugs or alcohol. I was even put into a "rehab". The rehab booted me. I wasn't addicted to anything. That wasn't enough though... they conveniently forget that today.

I want so desperately to walk away completely... but I can't. I love my brother. My brother is, and always has been, part of what makes my life worth living. He's linked though... to all of that... to them... and I can't tell him to take sides. (All due respect, S. I don't mean to talk about you like you're not here... just running with my train of thought.) There are sides. As much as I want there not to be. Every time I talk with him, I realize that there are. Even if I don't blame his family, they still hold an opinion, and that opinion, based on what they saw... how I had to be around them backs up "the other side".

"You look fine"

Yes, I'm a master at that. I'll always look fine. I'm well trained.

(needing the lights on - 2)

I have a bunny.

"New" Music - (8)

How many people thought that STP (Stone Temple Pilots) sounded like Pearl Jam when they first came out?

I did, but I did like them both. It was the start of something awful though. There must be 3,000 Pearl Jam sound-alikes at this point. :\

(Uh, Brr.) 2

We're at 7 (F) right now. It's staying around the 45 (F) mark in here though. I'm pretty sure that it's due to my neighbors' heat.

I'm not as think as you dumb I am.

It took me until 1997 to put together that BBs (as in BB Gun) were Ball Bearings.

Yesterday I graduated to 3 + 3 = 6.

The Maryjane Girls.

Maryjane.

Pot.

Right.

Duh.

(NFL Football - 2)

I'm not anti-Steelers. They're still Pennsylvania. ;)

turning point (3)

(just a note, but not addressed to anyone in particular... I think that I was wondering more about decisions that you made. Things that you could change or could easily have done differently. Things that, in this life, you had complete control of and chose to do one way or another.)

(NFL Football - 1)

As a Patriots (and Eagles, but who knows what they'll do tonight ) fan... I won't touch this with a 10 foot pole.

Hello (15) - II

I'm here. Fuzzy headed, but here.

(needing the lights on - 1)

I went through that for a while after I "saw a ghost" in my apartment. I think it was 1996 or '97. After it happened, I had to leave the lights on until I moved out.

Now, I sometimes can't get it dark enough. There's always light that creeps in from the window... and that's even more annoying than pitch black. The little light makes more shadows, etc. If it's pitch black, at least you know you're hallucinating.

It's odd. I know that the logical thing is to just make friends with whatever (whomever) is spooking you, but at the moment you see something, logic goes out the window and you just feel fear or panic.

Just an idea, but have you considered leaving the lights on and just using one of those blindfold thingees? At least that way you have darkness, but in case of an onset of being spooked, you can have light quickly by removing it. True, it still uses electricity, but at least you might sleep easier.

(Uh, Brr.) 1

When I got out of bed this morning, it was 4 outside, and 45 inside. :\

I like the cold, but I really do prefer having it a little warmer than 45 in my apartment. I have a little space heater that I use (can't afford to use the actual heat :\ ), which helps a little... but... I could deal with another 5 - 10 degrees or so.

---

10:21 AM
...just checked. It's down to 2 outside. Still 45 in here.

:\

"New" Music - (7)

I've heard of "The Donnas", but I'm not familiar with their music.

(the dick head avatar)

I think that the funniest thing about that avatar is that it actually does resemble me.

turning point (2)

I still haven't come up with an answer. It's so difficult... the few good things in my life are things that I'd never want to sacrifice reliving. So far, all I can determine is that it'd be something after June 27, 1983... but it falls apart there... just thinking that I could lose those good things because of the change... I don't know. Up until June 27, 1983 ("my awakening") life was beyond hellish. I wouldn't mind if any of it changed. After that though... that's when I had the reigns, that's when I took them, and started to make good things happen. Then, perhaps what happened before the 27th was what led to my "awakening"... it's all what makes me me.

I think that I need to think on this some more. :\

Hello (15) - I

Up and shotted. :)

Hope you're feeling a little better today.

IT'S COLD IN HERE!!!!!!!!

Hello (14) - XVII, XVIII

4:55 AM
They came to put the new toilet in yesterday. I'm glad that I have a new toilet, but it doesn't fit right in the floor, so it rocks. There are also a lot of patches where the "tile" doesn't cover the floor now. It looks like shit.

They're supposed to come back today to caulk (They'd better fix the rocking before they caulk!) and also to spray the ceiling.

I ended up trying to take a nap in order to watch ER. Of course, the nap didn't work for a good 2 hours, then I fell asleep. Then I started the whole sleep thing. I woke up at 10:50... just in time to see the end of what looked like a crappy episode anyway (but I could be wrong), and just in time for a nosebleed.

Still tired. Shot day is tomorrow. Hope it helps. :\

Thanks for calling me. I should have put the phone near the bed. :\

Hopefully we'll talk before they come to finish up in here. I'll try you after 8. :)

---

7:34 PM
S. just left. I'll try calling in a few, but my eyes are getting heavy. Don't know how much longer I can stay up. :\

Onward in therapy (3)

Would you bother telling your story to anyone if you didn't want them to take your side?

absolutely.

I'm not telling my crap in order to get her to side with me. I'm telling it in an attempt to get a more objective opinion.

What else would you do with that negative perspective but hurt yourself even more?

Learn and grow.

It just doesn't matter.

It does to me. If she's reacting to what I'm telling her because it is indeed rather extreme, as opposed to reacting to something within herself that I inadvertently drew her attention to, there's a big difference. One instance makes me justified in my pain, the other, entertaining at best.

I want to feel validated, not interesting. I want to know the truth about my own reactions... whether or not they're justified... whether or not my being hurt by people is just because of my being weak. The only person who can give me those answers that I'll actually take them from is someone who has heard the whole story and has the opportunity to compare it to the situations and reactions of others with similar histories.


If I am weak, I can get stronger. I can handle that, if it's the truth. If it's not my weakness (or stubbornness or rebelliousness or manipulative nature) that put me in the "disabled" category, then I want to know that without a doubt. I want to know, so that I can survive without shame and hate without guilt.

Hello (14) - XVI

Stayed in bed 'til 6 (cold!), but was up at 5. A little better than 3.

Still sniffing, and had the dehydration headache from hell when I woke up, even though I drank about a half gallon of water yesterday.

Hello (14) - XV

It's really really cold in here. :(

Think I'm going to end up going to bed early (yet again. :\ )

Peter Gabriel - "Red Rain"

red rain is coming down
red rain
red rain is pouring down
pouring down all over me

I am standing up at the water's edge in my dream
I cannot make a single sound as you scream
it can't be that cold, the ground is still warm to touch
this place is so quiet, sensing that storm

red rain is coming down
red rain
red rain is pouring down
pouring down all over me

well I've seen them buried in a sheltered place in this town
they tell you that this rain can sting, and look down
there is no blood around see no sign of pain
hay ay ay no pain
seeing no red at all, see no rain

red rain is coming down
red rain
red rain is pouring down
pouring down all over me

red rain-
putting the pressure on much harder now
to return again and again
just let the red rain splash you
let the rain fall on your skin
I come to you defences down
with the trust of a child

red rain is coming down
red rain
red rain is pouring down
pouring down all over me
and I can't watch any more
no more denial
it's so hard to lay down in all of this
red rain is coming down
red rain is pouring down
red rain is coming down all over me
I see it
red rain is coming down
red rain is pouring down
red rain is coming down all over me
I'm bathing in it
red rain coming down
red rain is coming down
red rain is coming down all over me
I'm begging you
red rain coming down
red rain coming down
red rain coming down
red rain coming down
over me in the red red sea
over me
over me
red rain

"Old" Music (9)

Yes, it's true, in the 80's, many of us did actually like A Flock Of Seagulls, and not just because of their hair. They were a damn good band.

Hello (14) - XIII, XIV

9:24 AM
Think I'm going to crawl back into bed and try napping. Maybe that will fix the problem of getting up at 3AM. :\

Monsters, Inc. is on. I saw it before, but it was narrated by (a toddler). *lol* Maybe it'll help put me to sleep. It could happen.

---

10:46 AM
well, the nosebleed blew that idea to shit. :\

Onward in therapy (2)

What's that like .... to have someone cry for you ... ????


It's odd. I usually don't know what to make of it. Usually I think she must be projecting something from her own life onto what I'm saying, and I usually end up trying to make a joke or something. Her crying makes me uncomfortable. I'm not in there trying to make her feel bad.

turning point (1)

With time travel, if you change one thing, everything after that will change too. That in mind...

If when you die you are reincarnated as yourself, the same date, the same time, the same everything, but were "instructed" to change one thing (as in something that you could change, not asking to be born as a cat or something along those lines, I mean change one thing as in change one thing you did in this life that will, hence, change the course of your next), what would it be?

(To be clear, make it a given that you live the same life over and over and over again, but have to change one thing each time around. For your next time around; what will be the one thing that you do differently to change the course of your life?)

(Avatars, still.)

I'm not sure where I'm at yet. I have about 13 so far that I'm debating on. :\ A few of them are cute and/or funny, but the problem is that although I can be cute and/or funny at times, I'm also a pretty often. :\

"New" Music - (6)

I really like Seal.

Onward in therapy (1)

I suppose that I'm at an interesting crossroads, of sorts, in therapy.

When I started seeing SH in October of 2002, I decided that I was going to tell her my life story. I'd never done it before, told the whole story to anyone. I'd tried, on paper at least, to get through it all, even for my self, but never was able to. I usually ended up stopping somewhere about age 7 or 8.

Well, I got past 7 or 8, and have ended up at 14 or 15. This is the critical mass point. It's after my "awakening", and before my leaving home. It's what it all built up to...

SH has cried and gone bug eyed over much of my story. There's no problem "justifying" my "disorder". I have enough within the first couple of years to do that. But now... here's the critical mass point... the point in my life where, depending on how you look at it, I cracked entirely, or I gave up, or I decided to "survive".

I left. My mother, to this day, dumps that on me. I chose to leave. It's about me wanting to be different.

that's what it's all about...

Am I "bad"? Was I... am I "wrong". Am I weak? Am I simply rebellious? Am I selfish? Did I ask for it? (Those are rhetorical questions.)

So... it's critical mass. The point where I sit and I ask my therapist those questions. Where I ask the opinion of an "outsider" who now knows every last bit of what happened, or at least has heard it.

Will she take my side because she's my therapist and it's her job to do so? Can she stop crying long enough to step back and see it as a parent might? Do I really want her to?

There's "part 2" of the story to come. It doesn't get a whole hell of a lot prettier.

In the end... if it's all justified... if it's really not my fault... then what? What happens if at the end of all this storytelling it boils down to that... that it truly is not my fault... that I'm truly and justifiably "disabled"... that's it's not about my not trying or my choosing to be this way? What does that change? Will my knowledge of "the truth" change anything? If I stop doubting myself, will others around me stop doing so? Will I ever stop wanting to kill people, or myself, every time I hear "You look fine!"?

I don't know what I'm getting at. My head is spinning a little.

Think I best stop here.

"New" Music - (5)

I actually saw Switchblade Symphony a few years ago. They were opening for Gary Numan. (I'm pretty sure that's the show I'm thinking of.) I really didn't like them at all, but then, I was in a bit of a time warp. The crowd was very split between the young Switchblade Symphony fans and us old Gary Numan fans. I might have been stuck too heavily in "bitter old person" mode to appreciate them. Too, there might be a big difference between their live performance and what they release on CD... a lot of artists are like that. I might like them if I heard their recorded stuff.

Hello (14) - XII

Went downstairs and talked to Bass man yesterday. My feet were vibrating, and I called the office. (The apartment manager), per usual, hadn't talked to him and basically dumped the problem back onto me. So, I went down, and as it turns out, the problem is not Bass man, but Bass man's neighbor. They're basically at war. It's at the point where his stereo speakers are turned against the wall, pointing at his neighbor. The person who vibrates my feet is #4. #6, Bass Man, is the one who watches tv all night and plays country music, in an attempt to get the Rock listening people in #4 to stop. Bass man even bought an acoustic bass as to not annoy the neighbors, after I last spoke with him. (He stressed that it cost him $600. :\ )

Where does that leave me? Well, it was quiet all night, for a change. How long it will continue, I don't know. I called (the apartment manager) back and explained what was going on, but something tells me that won't make any sort of difference.

I went to bed early. Tried to sleep as much as possible. Had a nosebleed in the night, and I'm up and sniffing now. I think that I'm going to cancel the appointment tonight. I guess I'll see how I feel when the time comes. I just don't want to over do it.

I've officially reached my "ideal" weight. It's just a damn shame that it's 90% body snot. :\

I always get chills

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here the rooms pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it wont end though
Alone

Til now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don't know how long I have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight
You dont know how long I have waited
And I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone

Til now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
Alone, alone



( Heart - "Alone" )

"Old" Music (8)

I'm so COMPLETELY not worthy!




MANY thanks to my bro, for the COOLEST holiday gift.

Hello (14) - X, XI

3:48 AM
up and sniffing. :\

I think that S. is going to come up tomorrow morning to go food shopping. I can never be sure though. I sure hope he does. I'm about out of milk.

---

7:46 AM
It's official. I'm alternative. *lol*

I said Feb.

What did you say?

(from an Excite poll)
Sun, Jan 4, 2004
What if you could spend all 365 days next year living in the same month (ex. 365 days of June), which month would you choose?

January 0% => 106 votes
February 0% => 96 votes
March 1% => 192 votes
April 6% => 709 votes
May 18% => 2035 votes
June 13% => 1435 votes
July 13% => 1409 votes
August 6% => 683 votes
September 12% => 1327 votes
October 13% => 1447 votes
November 2% => 270 votes
December 3% => 428 votes
I'm not sure 1% => 208 votes
I don't care 3% => 392 votes
Current number of voters: 10737