(War on Iraq)

At this point, I'm so confused...

I don't know what to believe. Whether it's what I read online, hear on tv, or read in the paper, I can't seem to set my head on anything. It's all hearsay.

There's an overpopulation problem. That directly affects me. How can I stand against something that might help in that area?

Then, if I had my choice, I wouldn't want "innocent" people to die. That's the catch. You can't pick and choose. You can't go across the world deciding who should just jump the hell out of the gene pool and who should keep it going.

I'm not anti-muslim. I'm anti-ANY religion that discriminates against people, based on what is or is not in their pants or whom they choose to partner with, and also, any religion that is based on fear. (That's about all organized religions.) Too, when I address "religion", the same can apply to "government".

I suppose that I just want to use force to make people wake the hell up. I want an end to closed mindedness. I suppose that's why I'm so anti - Reverend Bush.

We're NOT one Nation under GOD. We might be a Nation whose majority believe in a higher power, but you can't really say "WE" when it's not a consensus.

If they'd just add an "O" to the God part....

I'd be ok with "One Nation Devoted To GOOD".

Wearing thin

So damn tired of hoping for things that never happen.

I have no clue what I want to do with this online thing. More often than not, it's more of a frustration than anything else.


"bored bored bored bored bored bored"
- Garfield (immediately preceding being hit with a screen door)

ssdd

Drank some beer, took some pills.

What else is new.

Perhaps sleep will come.

focusing on my problems

I find that focusing on my problems enables me to solve them (as if I have a choice whether or not to focus on them in the first place). I think that introspection is actually pretty vital. People tend to take out their misery on others when they're not aware of its source. People "project"... they tend to think that what they feel is what others feel. It's the whole welfare - "they just don't want to work" mentality. Just because someone hates their job and would rather be home sitting on their ass, they think that people who are stuck in life actually choose to be that way. They think that people on Welfare actually choose to be... that they feel like they do... that they truly do not want to work.

I wish more people would take a good hard look at their own shit. Maybe the world would be a little kinder and gentler.

Filing suit against my parents

I wish I could.

If I was nurtured, rather than abused, I would not be disabled.

If I was not disabled, I would not be poor.

Being that it was the fault of my parents, shouldn't they be obligated to compensate me? Shouldn't their wages be plucked? Shouldn't 25% of my mother's income go to me? (She had 3 kids) Shouldn't 33% of my (supposed) father's income go to me? (He had 2)

They broke me, shouldn't they pay to fix me? If not, shouldn't they pay to help me fix myself?

I wish they'd pass a law. All abusive parents must pay a percentage of their earnings to their children if their children end up disabled because of that abuse.

further opinion

(follow up to "Time Warp")

You can't escape yourself, but maybe accepting yourself is possible?

Your past isn't just a part of you, it IS you. I think that I was attempting to point that out... although I don't think that I did a very good job.

If something is "stuck on repeat" and you can't stop it, the only option is to get used to it... accept it as something that won't just go away.

You can't change who you are. You are who you are. If you are tormenting yourself, perhaps it is possible to listen to yourself... listen to what that part of you is saying. There's a reason why some things get "stuck on repeat". Usually it's because what you did in the past was not enough to resolve the situation. Painful memories come from within. You are producing them. You are talking to yourself.

The memory is screaming because the result of something you did or experienced in the past is still affecting you now... in a negative way. To stop the screaming, you have to either change the result by altering your future, or forgive yourself for being human.

Neither is very easy.

hollow point

I came to you knowingly
and all of a sudden
your stupid life is
JUST like mine is

Mirror
Chameleon


gnat



fin