defining feminism - (and going)

I really think that it varies person to person. Some feminists will snap at the word "chick", some won't. I don't think it's an issue of a sense of humor... I really think that it's about how much shit the individual feminist has taken from people for either being a woman, or having female characteristics. (Transsexuals, Gay men, and Intersexed people get shit too... and it's the same shit... anti (anything having remotely to do with) the female stereotype. The more shit someone has had to eat, the more they throw up at whomever tickles their uvula.

defining feminism - (it kept going)

I hear what you're saying (about preferring to hang out with "those who take things, including themselves, and ESPECIALLY "serious" subjects, lightly."), but... I do wonder whether or not you'd feel differently if you were a "woman" yourself (or if you were perceived as female). It is rather difficult to laugh off abuse... and sometimes outwardly laughing at abusive things allows them to continue (even if you do laugh inwardly).

You say that you are stuck with measuring people by their intelligence and sense of humor. So... basically you're saying that you measure people with how similar to you they are? Is it that they have no sense of humor, or that they don't find the same things funny as you do?

I don't think that Feminists have no sense of humor... however... I think they're DAMN bitter, and refuse to take any further abuse with a smile.

You might call them "raw nerves".

loss of rights

I was just ranting elsewhere, and mentioned something about rights being violated when you have a mental disability... I didn't want to say this in that topic... because it might be interpreted the wrong way. I didn't want people to think that I was doing the old, "my shyt is worse than your shyt" thing, but I still needed to post it... I just needed to get what I felt off of my chest.

So... what I really wanted to post:

THE LAST TIME YOU WENT INTO THE HOSPITAL FOR TREATMENT FOR YOUR DISABILITY, WERE YOU STRIP SEARCHED?!!!?!? HOW ABOUT A CAVITY SEARCH??????!!!

My problem has to do with my BRAIN, and last I checked, my brain is not located in any posterior orifice!!!!!!

*breathes*

I feel better now.

defining feminism - cont'd further

It makes sense to discriminate based on height and/or weight sometimes... certain jobs require certain physical abilities. None of those abilities has anything to do with what is or isn't in a person's pants, however.

You can look at sports the same way. (Even though I actually really enjoy watching the WNBA) Why not just create the NBA divisions 1, 2, and 3... base them on height and weight, and call it a day? Even now, in the NBA, there are 7ft. players and 5' something players. Wouldn't the game be more fun to watch if the players were more evenly matched? ...and if the answer is no, and people really want to see a 7 ft. player vs. a 5 ft. something player, then why not just integrate the NBA, and allow women to play?

ok, given, if it weren't for the WNBA, women wouldn't get the chance to play in a "major" league right now, but why not change the NBA rules/traditions to make it fair, rather than adding a "W" to it and further enforcing the concept of polarized sexes?


One of my problems with most "feminists" that I've encountered is that they focus more on the "separate" part than the "equal" part, and I think that's rather counterproductive to what feminism is supposed to be about.

Don't fight for a WNBA, fight for fairness within the already established NBA. If you start a new division of the NBA, don't alter the court, shrink the ball, and call it the WNBA, call it the NBA, division 2 and open it up to all people that are too short for the (fair, based on height, division 1) NBA that is already up and running.


am I ranting?

oops. sorry.

defining feminism - cont'd

Although not all feminists are man haters, in my experience, most women who wear the "feminist" label are... and at least, if they don't downright hate men, they stereotype them at least as negatively, if not more so, than most men stereotype women.

Do I have a personal investment in the "Person that hurt me = Man = beard = Follows Ravens, for example." statement? Absolutely. I'm perceived as a man and so therefor am treated as a man. Whether it's a guy who thinks that I too would enjoy ogling his 14 year old stepdaughter, or a woman who won't talk to me about her cramps, I'm judged by the way I look. Being that I spent over a decade immersed in the LGBT community watching people's reactions to me change as I went from looking like a 15 year old boy who everyone said was a gay woman, and who (seemingly) everyone wanted to sleep with, to looking like a 20 year old man who, no matter what people said, had to nearly beg to get served in the lesbian bar while out with friends... yes... there's some bitterness there. I have a unique perspective. I get to be/got to be a spy for both "camps". I can honestly say that when it comes to judging people by apparent sex, and treating them deplorably because of that, men do not have the corner on the market.

I think that nearly all people judge based on apparent sex. It's the first thing that runs through a person's mind when meeting another person. The brain says, "he/she's a man/woman; am I attracted to him/her?" Then, it answers the question. After answering that question, it moves on to determining how to address that person, what's ok to share with the person... it draws on all the lovely societally programmed instructions about what a man can do with a woman, a man can do with a man, a woman can do with a woman, a woman can do with a man, and what to do if you're not sure about someone's sex.

Then, maybe you say hello.

According to the dictionary, I'm a feminist... but you know what? Attaching that label to myself as a perceived man means something entirely different than it would as either a perceived woman or as a person of indeterminable sex. As a man, the label makes one "softer". As a woman, it makes one "harder". Amazing stuff.

Do I "hate men" or judge people based on perceived sex? Yup. Sure do. I stereotype and buckle to my societal programming with the worst of 'em. I guess that's why I spend so much time attempting to "deconstruct" labels like these. In reality, I'm attempting to deconstruct (deprogram) myself.

defining feminism

Being a feminist might not mean being a man hater, but many (if not most) women who wear the feminist label are.

I think that it links to the reasons why a person associates themself with a "movement" or chooses a label in the first place. Many, if not most, women choose feminism because of being personally negatively affected by men. It only makes sense that while reclaiming power, one holds a grudge against the group they hold responsible for taking that power in the first place.

The problems happen (at least, in my life) when labels are assigned, rather than selected by the person wearing them. Person that hurt me = Man = beard = Follows Ravens, for example.

Although feminists can be viewed as people who are "truly accepting of (which also means not threatened by or reactionary to or gently condescending of) women as people.", because of the fact that feminism continues to dichotomize sex and gender, it only serves (in my opinion) to continue the "reign of the patriarchy".

I'm sure that no matter what the group attempting to "reclaim power", the same complaints can be made. The United Negro College fund REALLY pisses off poor white kids. Seems to me that in doing exactly what those you're against did to you and others like you makes you just as bad as them... if not worse. "You're" supposed to know better.

It appears that in this society, the methods of reclaiming power mirror the methods used in the previous loss of power. I guess you go with what you know.

(Advice to a 19 year old.)

First off... stop with the "I haven't done anything with my life" crap. You're 20. You have done A LOT with your life. You've completed school. You've formed relationships. You've worked a bit. You've read a lot. Don't compare your self to some ideal. You're EXACTLY where you should be at the age of 20.


To answer your question though... (What would I do (or do more of) if I could go back to 20 again?)


Answer #1 - (The honest answer) If I woke up and was 20 again... I'd kill myself. If I had to go through what I went through in the last 12 years again, and I'd HAVE to in order to survive, I'd probably kill myself first.

Answer #2 - (The time travel answer) If I went back in time and met myself, and was able to give myself some advice...

Don't ever get a credit card.
Stay away from Cocaine.

Answer #3 - (The "if I were you" answer) Work and save. Get a solid job, if you can find one (I highly recommend government jobs or the military), and save as much money as you can. Don't even care about what you're saving it for, in 10 years or so, you'll know what it's for.

(U.S.) Single Sex Schools

Well, I can see this from many perspectives... but there are 2 main reasons why I'd have to vote "con".

1. I don't support anything which supports the delusion of 2 sexes.

2. If people want to have schools of this sort, let them create private schools. The government should NOT be supporting them in any way, and frankly, in a court of law, I don't even know if these schools could stay segregated if challenged. An all girls school discriminates against boys, and an all boys school discriminates against girls.


I remember when Central High School (the top of the heap public High School at the time, in Philadelphia) was forced to go coed. It was the same year I started High School (1983/1984 school year). The reason they made it coed, from what I can recall, was because it was the #1 school, and it wasn't fair that girls were not able to get the best education, just because of their sex. Central's sister school (#2 in the ranks - Philadelphia High School For Girls) was left alone. Something tells me that even if they made Girls' go coed, the name of the school would have deterred quite a few boys from attending though... and if not, I'm sure that most parents wouldn't allow their sons to be called girls because of the social stigma alone. ( I won't get into that. *grumble grumble... cough cough*)

(...just a theory...)

I've always felt that "Genius" was in the creation, not in the perfection of that which has already been created. (For example, the genius is the one who first figured out how to determine that 2347x435=82145.. the one who figured out the "formula", not the one who can, using that formula, figure out that 2347x435=82145 in the least amount of time.) "Genius" is often interpreted as "madness" because of that. The "Genius" expresses concepts that are new... unlearned... often outlandish to the majority. A "Mad" person is often called an "idiot".

733p051102

I just have to write. I feel like talking to someone. I don't really feel like hearing anyone though, just talking. Pretty selfish, huh.

I'm probably going to kill myself. I'm being honest here. I know... I finally got out of there... everything is supposed to be just wonderful now, right? Sometimes I wonder if anyone really understands that my head is fucked up. They expect trivial shit to all of a sudden make life perfect. No one really gets it. It's my head that's fucked up. My brain. It doesn't matter what happens in life. Nothing changes my head. The brain is an organ. I have a sickness that affects one of my vital organs. No one gets that.

People love the puppet. They love what I create to entertain them. They don't know anything about me. It's not because I don't try to explain myself. I often do. No one really wants to listen. I can't blame them. I don't like listening to other people's bullshit either.

One day... when I can get over the last bit of fear,

I'm out of here.

Recovery.

I'm hoping that my new state of living will allow my brain to start working a bit better. I look back over the posts I made in the last year and a half, and it's downright sad. I started out twisted, yet able to articulate and ended up in near gorkdom.

I hope that I can spend some time and energy getting my board to a place that I'd once envisioned it being.

Thanks all, for your patience with me in the last year and a half, and for your support, without which I never would have made it.

Taking a break from unpacking.

I had no concept of how much stuff I actually have! I filled a pickup and a car with what was in storage... and there's still at least another car load left there. I simply have NO idea how I managed to Tetris all that I did into my former room either.

I like the new place. I'm bonding with it as we speak (a.k.a. CLEANING!), and although there are a few teeny tiny things I could bitch and whine about, I'm enjoying being out of there FAR too much to complain.


It feels weird smoking while online again... a lot feels weird. After a year and a half of whatever it is you call what I just went through... there's a lot that feels odd now. Not bad odd... just a bit awkward due to not being able to do it for so long, I guess.

OK... back to the bonding with the new home and Mr. Clean!

(FINALLY!!!!!) cont'd

Packin' up!

I'll be back ASAP!

(Hopefully tonight, IN MY OWN HOME!!!!!!!!!)

(on euthanasia)

It's your right to disagree... but... ok, this is just another viewpoint... but... shouldn't it be up to the individual? Sort of like the abortion thing? I mean... in your case, you may choose to keep going, but isn't it the right of the person to choose life or death for themself? I hear what you're saying about asking your loved ones to do it being cruel, but if doctors could do it without going to jail, a person wouldn't have to ask their loved ones.

I don't know how you do it, J. I'm with w. on this. If my brain goes, kill me. If my body goes, all but my instinctual response stuff like blinking and breathing... kill me. Most days it's tough enough to not be completely suicidal... even with my body working and my brain a bit screwy. If things get that much worse, it's Cobainland for me