To respond to the remark about my words constantly invoking a "gender identity crisis".... I don't see it that way... I see it as my educating people and protecting the lives of others by education.
Lack of understanding is not just annoying, it's lack of understanding that gets people beat to death or molested by doctors or mutilated by them. Will I ever keep my mouth shut about issues concerning gender/sex/sexuality. Nope.
Silence = Death.
...Yes, sometimes people just fear what they don't understand... or sometimes they just want to hurt someone. That's in the case of beating/killing though. In the case of the medical community it's dehumanization (it's ok to put my fingers in there... it's an it, not a woman... I can't get sued... it's my word against the freak's!) and lack of education (wow... what are you? we have to run some tests!). Some doctors REALLY think it's right to mutilate babies... in fact... some doctors don't even see it as mutilating.
I'm still of the mindset that talking about it is better than being silent. Most of the world doesn't even know that people like me even exist. Many think that it's ok to beat people like me for not detailing our genitals to them before the first kiss. Well... maybe me running my mouth will reach just ONE of those people. For that, I'm willing to annoy a few just a bit.
Sunday, January 21, 2001
Saturday, January 20, 2001
Theories
In my opinion...
It only makes sense that Weres exist. At first, when it came to mating, partners were chosen based on physical assets... the way it's most commonly done in the animal kingdom. As the human mind developed, all of a sudden the physical was not the only thing influencing the "loins". Things came into play like property and power, and the one thing that all of a sudden became important (especially as the life expectancy increased and people were spending much longer periods of time with their mates) was whether or not you could communicate, get along, and understand one another. Basically, human beings got considerably smarter and sought out mates with matching intellect. The unintelligent frequently went without a mate. This, along with the evolution of the brain, caused the birth of the Were. The Were is the branch of humanity that has control of the mind... much like the human was the branch of primate that had control of their thumbs.
The spiritual realities of the Were? That's a whole 'nother can of worms.
more on the brain...
Are you smarter than your computer?
People have been trying for years to create a machine that thinks. The major roadblock?
MAYBE
A computer knows only 0 or 1... on or off... open or closed...yes or no. The concept of "maybe" would cause a computer to not be able to work. Introducing that third variable would prohibit the computer from being able to answer any given question.
The nature of intelligence... what makes a person smart... is not knowing all the answers, it's this ability to conceptualize "maybe".
I bitch about a lot of things in life. (I'm a MASTER complainer.) The one thing I complain about constantly is that people have to constantly label things and can only see things in black and white. People polarize. It's always one or the other... no in between. It's black or white, male or female, right or wrong, short or tall, fat or skinny. Those who do see some in between just add another option... it becomes Tall, short, or medium... Black, white, or grey... male, female, or hermaphrodite. The concept of "continuum" is just not something people seem to get. That's why people's brains implode while attempting to answer the "question to end all questions".... "WHERE?"
Try it... where are you? I'm at my desk... in my room... in my house... in my city... in my state... in my country... on my planet... in my solar system... in my galaxy... in the universe... uh oh! Where's the universe? ummmmmmm
oh shit.... I'm lost! Where?!?!?!? WHERE am I?
The reason why it's such a brain buster is because people polarize. I'm somewhere, or I'm not. I am here... not there.
I rattle on about Weres being the next evolution... that Weres have mastered the brain... but what does that mean?
WERES UNDERSTAND "MAYBE"! ...The concept of "continuum".
It only makes sense that Weres exist. At first, when it came to mating, partners were chosen based on physical assets... the way it's most commonly done in the animal kingdom. As the human mind developed, all of a sudden the physical was not the only thing influencing the "loins". Things came into play like property and power, and the one thing that all of a sudden became important (especially as the life expectancy increased and people were spending much longer periods of time with their mates) was whether or not you could communicate, get along, and understand one another. Basically, human beings got considerably smarter and sought out mates with matching intellect. The unintelligent frequently went without a mate. This, along with the evolution of the brain, caused the birth of the Were. The Were is the branch of humanity that has control of the mind... much like the human was the branch of primate that had control of their thumbs.
The spiritual realities of the Were? That's a whole 'nother can of worms.
more on the brain...
Are you smarter than your computer?
People have been trying for years to create a machine that thinks. The major roadblock?
MAYBE
A computer knows only 0 or 1... on or off... open or closed...yes or no. The concept of "maybe" would cause a computer to not be able to work. Introducing that third variable would prohibit the computer from being able to answer any given question.
The nature of intelligence... what makes a person smart... is not knowing all the answers, it's this ability to conceptualize "maybe".
I bitch about a lot of things in life. (I'm a MASTER complainer.) The one thing I complain about constantly is that people have to constantly label things and can only see things in black and white. People polarize. It's always one or the other... no in between. It's black or white, male or female, right or wrong, short or tall, fat or skinny. Those who do see some in between just add another option... it becomes Tall, short, or medium... Black, white, or grey... male, female, or hermaphrodite. The concept of "continuum" is just not something people seem to get. That's why people's brains implode while attempting to answer the "question to end all questions".... "WHERE?"
Try it... where are you? I'm at my desk... in my room... in my house... in my city... in my state... in my country... on my planet... in my solar system... in my galaxy... in the universe... uh oh! Where's the universe? ummmmmmm
oh shit.... I'm lost! Where?!?!?!? WHERE am I?
The reason why it's such a brain buster is because people polarize. I'm somewhere, or I'm not. I am here... not there.
I rattle on about Weres being the next evolution... that Weres have mastered the brain... but what does that mean?
WERES UNDERSTAND "MAYBE"! ...The concept of "continuum".
Thursday, January 18, 2001
snerf! snerf snerf!
...like I said... depends on the day, sometimes I can discuss quantum physics, other times I can't even spell "quantum physics".
Words.....words.....words
Doctors come up with terms like "MPD"... NOT people with MPD themselves. What some call a spiritual state of being, many call a disorder. If a body has more than one spirit/soul occupying it... what do you think it would look like to someone who only has one? LIKE MPD!
I said it before... on this one, put the book down for a second. Doctors don't understand spiritual manifestations any more than the rest of the world. Whatever they can't understand, they come up with a name for and promptly dub it a disease, disorder, or mutation.
Having MPD and being a Were are identical! Some MPD folk integrate.... some Weres integrate. A human being is just another kind of animal! Just because a person has another person as a Were side doesn't make them any less Were. In MPD lingo, "Shifting" is called "Switching"... it's all the same! The only difference is that MPD carries a stigma and Wereism carries awe.
I said it before... on this one, put the book down for a second. Doctors don't understand spiritual manifestations any more than the rest of the world. Whatever they can't understand, they come up with a name for and promptly dub it a disease, disorder, or mutation.
Having MPD and being a Were are identical! Some MPD folk integrate.... some Weres integrate. A human being is just another kind of animal! Just because a person has another person as a Were side doesn't make them any less Were. In MPD lingo, "Shifting" is called "Switching"... it's all the same! The only difference is that MPD carries a stigma and Wereism carries awe.
Wednesday, January 17, 2001
(Day after day...) cont'd and cont'd
You're seeing MALE and FEMALE. You're tossing TRANS into the mix, creating a third sex. What happens if you stop polarizing? What happens if you see sex as something internal and known to one's self rather than something created by chromosomes and body parts? What happens if you see sex as a continuum and labels as labels?
Transsexualism is not about being valued! If that were the case, "men" would NOT desire to be seen as "women" (in our society). It is only about the body and chemicals in the body. MtF transsexuals are those with Testosterone poisoning. FtMs are those with Testosterone deficiency. Male and Female are labels based on body parts. The Transsexual doesn't just desire to exchange labels, if you talk to a few, they'll assure you that you can call them anything you damn well please, as long as they can correct their body. In truth, Transsexuals know damn well that they'll most likely not be valued even after they change their bodies... EVEN MORE SO THAN BEFORE THEY CHANGE.
Transsexualism is not about being valued! If that were the case, "men" would NOT desire to be seen as "women" (in our society). It is only about the body and chemicals in the body. MtF transsexuals are those with Testosterone poisoning. FtMs are those with Testosterone deficiency. Male and Female are labels based on body parts. The Transsexual doesn't just desire to exchange labels, if you talk to a few, they'll assure you that you can call them anything you damn well please, as long as they can correct their body. In truth, Transsexuals know damn well that they'll most likely not be valued even after they change their bodies... EVEN MORE SO THAN BEFORE THEY CHANGE.
Tuesday, January 16, 2001
(Day after day...) cont'd
Transsexualism is a MUCH different scenario. It's like waking up in a clown suit that you can't get out of one day, then trying to convince yourself and everyone else that you're not a clown. It's like having the body of a donkey and attempting to convince everyone that you're a human. It's KNOWING that you're not a clown and attempting to live your life in that clown suit anyway. In the end, it's either die or get surgery.
God created Cancer too... should that be left alone? God made the headache I'm getting... I'm taking some goddamn Tylenol... BECAUSE GOD MADE THAT TOO.
God created Cancer too... should that be left alone? God made the headache I'm getting... I'm taking some goddamn Tylenol... BECAUSE GOD MADE THAT TOO.
Monday, January 15, 2001
KILL THEM ALL
OK.. so I had a bad day.
Sometimes I'm lucky and I come across non-Weres that, even though they don't really get it, are open enough to respect me. Then.... there are days like today. ...takes everything I have not to put every last one of them through a plate glass window head first.
*sighs*
just had to vent.
Sometimes I'm lucky and I come across non-Weres that, even though they don't really get it, are open enough to respect me. Then.... there are days like today. ...takes everything I have not to put every last one of them through a plate glass window head first.
*sighs*
just had to vent.
(Day after day...)
So... like... one day you wake up with a giant mole on your face... is removing it "altering yourself"?
Is combing your hair?
Is putting on clothing?
Is clipping your nails?
Is taking your required insulin?
Is combing your hair?
Is putting on clothing?
Is clipping your nails?
Is taking your required insulin?
Friday, January 12, 2001
Ay Poe um
EYE WOOD LIKE SUM
PEE SOUP AND SUM
LOCKS WITH A BAY GULL
PLEASE
FOUR DESSERT EYE
WOOD LOVE SUM
EYES SCREAM, OAR
MAY BEE SUM
BLEW BARRY PI
EAT WAIL
LEARN TWO SPILL
PEE SOUP AND SUM
LOCKS WITH A BAY GULL
PLEASE
FOUR DESSERT EYE
WOOD LOVE SUM
EYES SCREAM, OAR
MAY BEE SUM
BLEW BARRY PI
EAT WAIL
LEARN TWO SPILL
Sunday, January 7, 2001
(MPD sleep problems)
...that's what I meant by taking turns... someone is always up... I've got them there sleep disorders as well.
Wednesday, January 3, 2001
Label Parade
I have plenty of psych labels. By law, I'm declared "mentally ill" and "disabled". The primary label is DID - formerly MPD, and the secondary one is PTSD. By some standards, I've been misdiagnosed in the past... but anyone who knows anything about MPD knows that's pretty common, as each "alter" can display a different "mental illness". I've had many labels... Major Depression - recurrent, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, OCD, Autistic, Gender Dysphoria (thank the Gods that one went the way of the Homo), on and on. There was a "social worker" when I was about 7, the stint at the Drug Rehab in '85 (I wasn't even an addict yet!), the shrink from '85 - 86, the loonytute in '87, and 3 more times in '94. I think that there were about 10 shrinks total. If you get a shrink that's intelligent enough, they can be a good sounding board... keeps a lot of the weight off of your friends... but I've yet to find one who does any sort of real good. I usually spend most of my time educating them, and they spend most of their time being fascinated by me and concentrating on things that are their issues - not mine. It doesn't help that I'm defensive as all hell, but it's their job to get past that. I'm the one who's supposed to be crazy.
The meds are endless as well. For every label there are at least 3 billion drugs, and they love testing them out. I can't even remember them all. Thorazine, Lithium, Xanax, Risperadal, Ativan... to name a few. Ativan is my current one, 3 mgs a day. (*chuckles* I challenge anyone to function on 21 mgs of Ativan and 2 cases of beer a week.)
At this point I'm considering looking for another shrink. No, I don't think that there's one out there with a magic wand, but I feel badly about putting so much pressure on my friends. Things are getting a little worse too, and it's best that's documented. The last thing I need is someone doubting my insanity... bad things happen when someone attempts to say that I'm "normal".
The meds are endless as well. For every label there are at least 3 billion drugs, and they love testing them out. I can't even remember them all. Thorazine, Lithium, Xanax, Risperadal, Ativan... to name a few. Ativan is my current one, 3 mgs a day. (*chuckles* I challenge anyone to function on 21 mgs of Ativan and 2 cases of beer a week.)
At this point I'm considering looking for another shrink. No, I don't think that there's one out there with a magic wand, but I feel badly about putting so much pressure on my friends. Things are getting a little worse too, and it's best that's documented. The last thing I need is someone doubting my insanity... bad things happen when someone attempts to say that I'm "normal".
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