trying to explain

I'm not doing well.

I'm not sure if everyone really understands what I'm up against here. All of this "urgency" has to do with the fact that I'm not getting any better, and that, in fact, I'm getting worse.

We all have our problems. I'm not trying to say that my problems are more important to take into consideration than anyone else's, and I'm not trying to make people worry or have people feel sorry for me.

I have a "disorder". I am not well. It is getting worse. I WANT to see you people before it becomes impossible for me to do so. At the rate things are going, it will be impossible to do so rather soon.

I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm not asking for advice. I'm not asking for help. All I'm asking is that you take me seriously.

I'm not just some guy with problems or that had a rough life or that isn't doing well lately.

I have a disorder. This disorder, whether you believe in things like multiple personalities or not, is killing me. No, I am not saying that figuratively.

I'm attempting to do this in order to see you people before I cannot.


Is there hope? A little, and I'm doing my best with working with my doc and therapist, but, again, things are NOT going well.


I don't know that this get together is possible, because of all of our "can't"s... but I at least want to try.

We lost Terri... and now, I'm next on the list. I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to move my place on that list a little lower, but I'm trying to be both realistic and honest here.


I don't know what I want you guys to say... or do...


I guess I just felt the need to be heard.