(To Exist and Hunt without Emotion or Remourse..)

Hamburgers don't have eyes. Even so, I always feel thankful and praise the ex-cow, and the one who was capable of killing it for me, and yes, I do feel a little sad... then too, I feel sad when I kill a roach too... and when I see cut flowers. I'm glad that I feel sad, it's what makes me feel evolved, but I also must live. In order to live, one must consume something, and right now, to consume is to kill (at least indirectly). I'm allergic to nuts, so I can't just live off of that which naturally falls to the ground. I'm grateful to those who can kill things with eyes, because I cannot, and I really like sushi. I depend on all creatures, including humans and non-human animals to survive. I give back to them whatever I can in gratitude.

Ever see a dog smile and raise his tail after killing a chicken, or bare teeth during the hunt? Looks like emotion to me, but then I'm not a dog, so I don't really know for sure.

Perhaps some other animals (including humans and evolved humans) do not feel remorse after killing, or emotions during the hunt, but I like to see myself and most other humans and evolved humans (like Vamps and Weres and the like) as simply that... evolved. Remorse implies a certain type of thinking ability. Non-human animals might not feel it, but some humans and evolved humans do.

I personally feel that evolved humans - Vampires (and Weres, etc.) are evolved from humans, or - perhaps - evolved along side humans. Either way, our brains are similar. This makes us capable of reflection... and the subsequent awareness that there are consequences to our actions. This enables us to feel remorse and to alter our actions, if possible.

I love dogs and wolves and cats and lemurs, and average humans, all animals in fact - however - I am not one. I take pride in that, and use/feel grateful for the gifts which I seem to have been given; the ability to feel remorse and learn from my feelings... to find alternatives to actions which bring grief to others, to give back to those who serve me and allow me to pamper myself, and mostly, my ability to REASON, and to CHANGE.

Not all Vampires take without remorse.

(What makes one aware that he/she may be a werewolf?)

I can only speak for myself here, but what alerted me was not so much the knowledge of "being different", as many feel at a young age who are Were and/or Vamp (or even ordinary people just going through life's changes), but more the realization of shifting. Although I'd never even heard the term "Were" until I came online last June, I was aware of my specific type of difference. I called it, "having Shaman's blood" to those I attempted to explain things to. It was as close as I could come to explaining that specific aspect of myself which was WAY different from the norm. It was the moment when I looked back and said, "WHOA! That wasn't me, but... it was... but it wasn't... but... etc." and then had the people around me back up that confusion with, "Well it was you... but it wasn't you... but it was... etc., etc." All I really knew was that I'd gone from human to other and then back again. It took quite a long time to actually give what I was experiencing any sort of a name.

From reading the words of others here, the label of "Polywere" seemed to fit. True, there are days when I read the posts of others that I swear to myself that there's no way in HELL that I'm a Were, but those are the bad days... the days when I doubt my own sanity... the days when I read the wrong posts by the wrong people at the wrong time.

To me, the main "symptoms" of being a Were are shifting (mental, emotional, and/or physical) and a specific type of heightened awareness... which I find difficult to describe. I usually rely on "it takes one to know one" and I seem to do just fine.

(How does it (shifting) feel?)

It feels like I'm being catapulted into a tunnel. After that, it varies according to how intense the shift is. Sometimes it's like being pounded into the ground, other times it's like floating on a cloud. Often, it does seem like I'm viewing the world from somewhere under water.

(Rhain again)

E-mailing the story of how St. Patrick Christianized Ireland to a Pagan on St. Patrick's Day is about as offensive as mailing the story of the Beer Hall Putsch to a Jew on Hitler's birthday.

Has the concept of being a considerate person ever crossed your mind, or did your God skip you while giving out that grace?

(Just a thought...)

I don't think that we are Real Vampires because we all have bad stomachs, or anything else for that matter, in common. It is possible that Real Vampires do share some common physical and mental traits with one another and with other non-Vampires, but I think that what makes a Real Vampire a Real Vampire is a combination of physical, mental, and spiritual aspects that are different from the majority of the rest of the human population, yet common to others who deem themselves "Real Vampires". I agree that when one has a physical problem, the local doc or healer is the first place to go. I think that calling oneself a Vampire should not be something one does until all other avenues are explored. In the Were community, there is a similar occurrence which is referred to as "Shifter's Disease". (An example - "Oh! I drop my pencil a lot too! I must be a Were!" or "Oh look! There's a new hair on my toe! I must be shifting!")

In short, I'm not a Vampire because I have a sensitive stomach, or because I have a mental illness, or because I like the taste of blood. They are just parts of my character. I'm a Vampire - more specifically, a Real Vampire, because of a combination of mental, physical, and spiritual characteristics which cause me to be able to identify closely to others who also label themselves such. We chose this label in order to define ourselves to others in an attempt to cause them to understand us better (hence treating us without prejudice), and in an attempt to find others like ourselves (hence eliminating some of the resulting loneliness which comes with our uniqueness.)

(Time and Mind)

Shifting does distort my sense of time.

Perhaps though, you might also look at it as having your memory affected as well. If your experiences from 4:00 to 6:00 are blocked out, then it will seem like that time did not exist. When you experience things in great detail, and retain the memories, it will seem like time slows down.

As for blocking out memories... it's what people in Psych-land call "losing time". Although I've brought this up a gazillion times, I'll mention it again... Do some reading about dissociative disorders. The differences between what people here call "wereism" and what the shrinks call "dissociative identity disorder" are very few. (Yes, including p-shifts.)

(Rhain)

Although I do not know you as a person, it is quite obvious where your interest lies, in so far as religion is concerned. I do not fault you for it, and in fact, I admire your dedication to what you believe in. I do wonder though, whether you have given serious thought to certain aspects of evangelism. Not that I think you should change your mind about it - to the contrary - I think that it's a noble pursuit. What I mean is that the way you seem to be going about it seems... well... not very effective. If you stand back and look at yourself from an outsider's perspective, you'll see that the Christians around you take to you rather well, but those who are not Christians do not. That's a bit of what I meant by wanting to hear your words rather than the words out of the bible. In fact, I think that your constant "God Bless"s and praises of your lord for all to see is hindering your ability to reach those who do not follow Christian tenets. It is my understanding that the purpose of evangelism is to reach out to those who have not "found Christ". My friend, those who have steered clear of Christianity will turn away from those sorts of words. They'll stop reading as soon as they hit the word, "God". I think that it might be useful to think about other ways to guide others toward what you perceive to be the path of the righteous. Sometimes, saying, "Stop being such an ass towards him! I'm sure that you don't like being singled out like that! What's the problem?" works 1,000 times better than, "Christ told us to love thy neighbor as thyself." Christ had some good ideas... but quoting scripture or even referring to those ideas as his all the time might actually serve to make people run from the idea. See what I'm saying? The references to Christ and other biblical figures works well on Christians, even on those who might be considering "straying from the flock", so to speak, but to those who are anti-Christian and may be in need of some of the bible's wisdom, those references will only serve to cause them to close their ears.