Doubting Thomas

I think a lot... maybe too much, but that’s just the way I am.

Humor me.


When we’re born, immediately we are told what is what. This is a ball, this is your dinner, this is your elbow, you’re a little boy, I am your Grandma, etc. etc. This is done for a reason. The reason, although people rarely think about it, is so that we can communicate with one another. I think that, over time, the original purpose for language has been convoluted; it has become not only a means by which people can communicate, but it has also become a tool to persecute and pigeonhole people... like Burroughs once said... "Language is a virus...". It mutates... spreads... What started out as something positive (a way to make one another happy) has also become a means to harm one another, and a way to teach our children what it is safe to think. Some call it giving children morals, others call it brainwashing. It depends on your perspective... and on your definitions for the words "morals" and "brainwashing".

When I tell my Goddaughter that a cup is a cup, I’m not telling her that it’s a cup because everyone on the planet agrees that it’s a cup and that she too should believe that it’s a cup because if she doesn't she‘s wrong.. I tell her it’s a cup because that way if she’s thirsty and wants her juice she can tell me that her cup is empty. Whether or not the object I’m referring to is actually a cup is for her to determine, I’m just telling her how to speak my language so that she can get what she wants from me. This will make us both happy. If later on while playing with that cup, she starts calling it a doll’s swimming pool, I don’t tell her it’s not. As long as when she wants something from me she knows how to ask for it, that’s all that matters.

The problems seem to happen when one person refuses to speak the language of another, knowing full well that refusal will cause insult. At that point, language is no longer used for the positive purpose of communication in order to make both parties happy, and it becomes a way to spit on someone without wasting water. For example, I say I’m an alien and take pride in that fact. You meet me and refuse to address me as such. You say to me and about me that I’m not an alien, just a messed up human. What you are actually doing is insulting me and judging me. You’re taking the words of others and giving them priority over mine. I don’t care that a doctor will say I’m human... in my book, I’m an alien, and I’ve made it clear that in order to make me happy and in order to communicate with you I wish to be addressed as such. Your inflicting your language on me makes me unhappy and breaks down communication. Would it harm you to call me an alien? Really? Even if you really think that I’m an insane human according to your language, by refusing to honor me, you have just become disrespectful (or the equivalent) in many languages.

I think that a lot of the problem is that a person has a definition in their head of what something is, and when another person claims to be that thing, they immediately attach that definition, not realizing that their definition may not match the definition of the other. Instead of pronouncing someone "not" a thing, why not ask what that means to the other person instead of risking insult? In most cases, you’re not dealing with a child who has no language. It’s not for you to educate them any more than it is for them to educate you. What works is for the two parties to work together and find a happy medium, otherwise there’s not going to be any communication, just word hurling, insults, hurt feelings, and nothing gained. Language turns into weapon.

Is it that you doubt that a person is what they say they are, or is it that you really haven’t taken the time to figure out just what they’re claiming to be? Is it that you fear that you are like them? Is it that you need to step on them to make yourself taller? Is it that you can’t give them credit or that you can’t give yourself license to continue developing your own language past the point where your educators left off?

To doubt what a person says is to doubt a person. To doubt a person is to not trust them. What is it you fear?