I'm still stuck in the burbs, and I'm about ready to implode.
I don't know how, or even if I'll ever be able to get back to my city. I'm just trying not to give up hope completely.
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
(NOT a Hate Crime?)
It's too early, and I'm still trying to shake off my meds... so... I'll keep this short.
By my definition, rape is not always a hate crime against women. It's only a hate crime when it is committed by someone who hates all women. It's the same thing if a guy beats the hell out of another guy, and later it turns out that the guy who got beat up is gay. The crime was committed, but because the guy doing the beating had no clue that the other guy was gay, it doesn't classify as a "hate crime". (Although in today's justice system I'm sure that the lawyer would try to use it.)
Perhaps, in the case of a serial rapist, it could be seen as a hate crime. Most rapes are committed by people who know the women they rape though. It's not a vendetta against all women, it an issue with a specific woman or type of woman. The person is usually not committing the rape only because of the fact that the victim is a woman. If it were the case that any woman would do, the attacker could go home to their own mother.
Rape is a violent crime... and the people who get raped vary. Men, women, children, and even wonderful freakydinks like me get raped... and as well... they also are rapists. Women rape. Children rape. It's not exclusive to men.
I can't classify rape as a hate crime. I think that the instances in which I could classify it as such are way fewer than the ones where I just see it as brutal, horrible, and worthy of the rapist losing their sex organs... so I'd have to go with no on the record books.
By my definition, rape is not always a hate crime against women. It's only a hate crime when it is committed by someone who hates all women. It's the same thing if a guy beats the hell out of another guy, and later it turns out that the guy who got beat up is gay. The crime was committed, but because the guy doing the beating had no clue that the other guy was gay, it doesn't classify as a "hate crime". (Although in today's justice system I'm sure that the lawyer would try to use it.)
Perhaps, in the case of a serial rapist, it could be seen as a hate crime. Most rapes are committed by people who know the women they rape though. It's not a vendetta against all women, it an issue with a specific woman or type of woman. The person is usually not committing the rape only because of the fact that the victim is a woman. If it were the case that any woman would do, the attacker could go home to their own mother.
Rape is a violent crime... and the people who get raped vary. Men, women, children, and even wonderful freakydinks like me get raped... and as well... they also are rapists. Women rape. Children rape. It's not exclusive to men.
I can't classify rape as a hate crime. I think that the instances in which I could classify it as such are way fewer than the ones where I just see it as brutal, horrible, and worthy of the rapist losing their sex organs... so I'd have to go with no on the record books.
Saturday, June 8, 2002
The other other half (cont'd 2)
A few points...
No one goes through "transgender surgery" to "become gay" (as was suggested). When a person has surgery, they don't really "become" anything. True, in many places, the society finally allows people to correct their birth certificates and other ID after they opt for surgery, but a person is who they are... before and after surgery. Yes, society at large can't grasp this, but that doesn't make it any less true. I don't think that the surgeon's not understanding the concept has too much to do with whether or not someone gets good surgery... although I do think that the psychologists' not understanding this has a lot to do with who is and isn't allowed to identify as the sex/gender they feel most suits them... and hence, actually qualifies for surgery in the first place. The fact that someone with a stereotypical female body is actually a gay man is not a fact most therapists can grasp... and even more so, the fact that a healthy woman could be completely fine with a stereotypical male body is WAY over the top. (This comes up a lot when discussing the crap that "non-op" MtFs have to deal with.)
The chest surgery is not usually a very difficult surgery. Only in cases where the FtM has particularly large breasts does it become a little more tricky, and that's just because there are bigger scars to camouflage. I can't even guess the amount of breast enlargements/reductions that are done every day in this country. It's not uncharted territory. The "mistakes" which are made are mistakes like not putting in drains, or binding too tight post-surgery and having the chest area necrotize because of it, or not positioning the nipples correctly, or not removing glands, or not removing certain areas of fat, or taking more skin from one side than the other... "mistakes" which aren't really mistakes at all, just the doings of an uncaring surgeon. To add to all of that, right now, because there is no legal precedent, botched surgeries have to just be dealt with by the individual. The FtM can't sue the surgeon for malpractice, even if he knows the surgeon knew better. The lawyers will not take the case, because it's, basically, unwinnable.
No one goes through "transgender surgery" to "become gay" (as was suggested). When a person has surgery, they don't really "become" anything. True, in many places, the society finally allows people to correct their birth certificates and other ID after they opt for surgery, but a person is who they are... before and after surgery. Yes, society at large can't grasp this, but that doesn't make it any less true. I don't think that the surgeon's not understanding the concept has too much to do with whether or not someone gets good surgery... although I do think that the psychologists' not understanding this has a lot to do with who is and isn't allowed to identify as the sex/gender they feel most suits them... and hence, actually qualifies for surgery in the first place. The fact that someone with a stereotypical female body is actually a gay man is not a fact most therapists can grasp... and even more so, the fact that a healthy woman could be completely fine with a stereotypical male body is WAY over the top. (This comes up a lot when discussing the crap that "non-op" MtFs have to deal with.)
The chest surgery is not usually a very difficult surgery. Only in cases where the FtM has particularly large breasts does it become a little more tricky, and that's just because there are bigger scars to camouflage. I can't even guess the amount of breast enlargements/reductions that are done every day in this country. It's not uncharted territory. The "mistakes" which are made are mistakes like not putting in drains, or binding too tight post-surgery and having the chest area necrotize because of it, or not positioning the nipples correctly, or not removing glands, or not removing certain areas of fat, or taking more skin from one side than the other... "mistakes" which aren't really mistakes at all, just the doings of an uncaring surgeon. To add to all of that, right now, because there is no legal precedent, botched surgeries have to just be dealt with by the individual. The FtM can't sue the surgeon for malpractice, even if he knows the surgeon knew better. The lawyers will not take the case, because it's, basically, unwinnable.
Wednesday, June 5, 2002
The other other half (cont'd)
MtFs don't threaten a man's masculinity and sexuality in the same way FtMs do. I think that MtFs threaten men's sexuality more than their masculinity. With the FtM, the man can write off his physical attraction to the fact that the FtM is really a "girl" and keep on going. With the MtF, the fact that this woman is "really a man" often makes him go ballistic. With the masculinity issues it's different. The Brandon Teena incident was about that, not sexuality. When a man has to reconsider what it means to be a man, and deal with the fact that it has nothing to do with his dick, often he goes ballistic. What happened to Brandon was that those guys decided to show him what a "Real" man was by raping, and then killing him. (Apparently a "real" man is a homicidal dick with legs, but that's another story.)
The same issues come up in the personal lives of transsexuals themselves. I think that it comes up more with FtMs because of the surgical issues. Most FtMs either cannot afford surgery, or will not allow themselves to be mutilated. So, they're left to spending a whole hell of a lot of time tossing the concept around that "man" does not equal "person with long penis and nuts"... or (as I stated previously) "John Wayne".
I've found most MtFs to be very gendered... that is to say, their concept of what a man or woman is physically and the appropriate gender roles for the man or woman are pretty much the same as most non-transsexual people. With FtM's, I've found the opposite. I've met more Transfags then I have heterosexual guys in the FtM community, and even the hetero ones I've met are still pretty open when it comes to whether or not a FtM has had surgery or not, or whether or not a FtM is masculine or feminine in nature. I really think that has a lot to do with the availability of decent surgery... but, as with all things, there are often blessings that come along with the curses. FtMs, because of not being able to surgically correct their bodies, do a lot to help society flush those ridiculous and very often harmful gender roles down the toilet.
Price does have some bearing on how good the result of chest surgery is.... sometimes. All of the guys I saw paid in cash. Some of them had horrible scars. Some of them had nipples under their arms. Some had no nipples at all. The ones who went to the more expensive surgeons weren't as mutilated.
I do think that if the FtM and MtF communities combined, it would benefit everyone. Problem is though, after surgery most FtMs and MtFs just want to disappear into the background. (After a life of hell, who can blame a person for wanting a break?) Pre-surgery, most transsexuals are too busy overcompensating to deal with the sex they are transitioning from. Many FtMs look at MtF's and envy their pre-op anatomy. Many MtF's look at FtM's the same way, and neither of them want to deal with that. Most transsexuals want people to see them as they are supposed to be, not look at them in their deformed state and think that it's just wonderful. Because of this, there is a HUGE rift in the trans community... and it ends up being as polarized as the rest of the world... if not more so. The post-ops barely exist in the community... the pre-ops organize themselves according to sex... and then according to whether or not the gender roles mirror those of the rest of society. For example, it's rare you'll see a non-op, punked-out, transfag allying himself with a post-op, married, businessman, FtM. They bring up too many difficult issues for the other, and so they stay apart.
I don't know that there's a solution to the problem... and I don't know if most people in the GLBT community even think that there is a problem... but from what I've seen, there is. I can only hope that in the future, because of better surgical options and broadening attitudes about sex, gender, and sexuality, things will change. Those still in the wrong color diapers now will eventually benefit from it.
The same issues come up in the personal lives of transsexuals themselves. I think that it comes up more with FtMs because of the surgical issues. Most FtMs either cannot afford surgery, or will not allow themselves to be mutilated. So, they're left to spending a whole hell of a lot of time tossing the concept around that "man" does not equal "person with long penis and nuts"... or (as I stated previously) "John Wayne".
I've found most MtFs to be very gendered... that is to say, their concept of what a man or woman is physically and the appropriate gender roles for the man or woman are pretty much the same as most non-transsexual people. With FtM's, I've found the opposite. I've met more Transfags then I have heterosexual guys in the FtM community, and even the hetero ones I've met are still pretty open when it comes to whether or not a FtM has had surgery or not, or whether or not a FtM is masculine or feminine in nature. I really think that has a lot to do with the availability of decent surgery... but, as with all things, there are often blessings that come along with the curses. FtMs, because of not being able to surgically correct their bodies, do a lot to help society flush those ridiculous and very often harmful gender roles down the toilet.
Price does have some bearing on how good the result of chest surgery is.... sometimes. All of the guys I saw paid in cash. Some of them had horrible scars. Some of them had nipples under their arms. Some had no nipples at all. The ones who went to the more expensive surgeons weren't as mutilated.
I do think that if the FtM and MtF communities combined, it would benefit everyone. Problem is though, after surgery most FtMs and MtFs just want to disappear into the background. (After a life of hell, who can blame a person for wanting a break?) Pre-surgery, most transsexuals are too busy overcompensating to deal with the sex they are transitioning from. Many FtMs look at MtF's and envy their pre-op anatomy. Many MtF's look at FtM's the same way, and neither of them want to deal with that. Most transsexuals want people to see them as they are supposed to be, not look at them in their deformed state and think that it's just wonderful. Because of this, there is a HUGE rift in the trans community... and it ends up being as polarized as the rest of the world... if not more so. The post-ops barely exist in the community... the pre-ops organize themselves according to sex... and then according to whether or not the gender roles mirror those of the rest of society. For example, it's rare you'll see a non-op, punked-out, transfag allying himself with a post-op, married, businessman, FtM. They bring up too many difficult issues for the other, and so they stay apart.
I don't know that there's a solution to the problem... and I don't know if most people in the GLBT community even think that there is a problem... but from what I've seen, there is. I can only hope that in the future, because of better surgical options and broadening attitudes about sex, gender, and sexuality, things will change. Those still in the wrong color diapers now will eventually benefit from it.
Tuesday, June 4, 2002
The other other half
"It's ok to lower a man... it's not ok to elevate a woman."
ok... point being... In this society, men are seen as superior to women. True, this attitude has improved over the last couple of decades or so (thanks to Betty & co.), but I think that (especially the older members of) the medical community still continue to discriminate against those they consider to be female. To make a woman into a man, you'd be elevating the woman in the eyes of (sexist) society. When you make a man (a twisted sick man) into a woman, who cares? He deserves to be discriminated against anyway!
Does that make any more sense?
I've seen a great many FtM's post-op results. Not one of them has ever looked anywhere near the level of "perfect" I've seen with MtFs. In fact, most (if not all) of them looked mutilated. I've seen the results of mastectomies done on women who had breast cancer that looked better than some of the chests of FtMs.
In general, I still believe that many doctors who deal with FtMs are simply threatened by them. Most surgeons (still) are men, and even looking at society at large, if men (again, in general) are not beating MtFs to death, they're trying to have sex with them. MtFs do not threaten masculinity in the same way, nor do they cause men to question their own sexuality in the same way that FtMs do. I honestly believe that many surgeons who work with FtMs have no desire to perfect anything. If they did, they'd have to admit that someone born with a vagina should be held in the same high regard as someone born with a penis.
It's not that it's impossible to improve the techniques used in FtM surgeries. Most of the mistakes made (which I know about) were completely avoidable in the first place. It's not that it's currently impossible (like reversing most of the effects of testosterone) to do good surgical work... it's just that the people doing the work don't care to know how to. It's not lucrative enough (less FtMs than MtFs), and (again) I think it is still rooted in sexism for many.
ok... point being... In this society, men are seen as superior to women. True, this attitude has improved over the last couple of decades or so (thanks to Betty & co.), but I think that (especially the older members of) the medical community still continue to discriminate against those they consider to be female. To make a woman into a man, you'd be elevating the woman in the eyes of (sexist) society. When you make a man (a twisted sick man) into a woman, who cares? He deserves to be discriminated against anyway!
Does that make any more sense?
I've seen a great many FtM's post-op results. Not one of them has ever looked anywhere near the level of "perfect" I've seen with MtFs. In fact, most (if not all) of them looked mutilated. I've seen the results of mastectomies done on women who had breast cancer that looked better than some of the chests of FtMs.
In general, I still believe that many doctors who deal with FtMs are simply threatened by them. Most surgeons (still) are men, and even looking at society at large, if men (again, in general) are not beating MtFs to death, they're trying to have sex with them. MtFs do not threaten masculinity in the same way, nor do they cause men to question their own sexuality in the same way that FtMs do. I honestly believe that many surgeons who work with FtMs have no desire to perfect anything. If they did, they'd have to admit that someone born with a vagina should be held in the same high regard as someone born with a penis.
It's not that it's impossible to improve the techniques used in FtM surgeries. Most of the mistakes made (which I know about) were completely avoidable in the first place. It's not that it's currently impossible (like reversing most of the effects of testosterone) to do good surgical work... it's just that the people doing the work don't care to know how to. It's not lucrative enough (less FtMs than MtFs), and (again) I think it is still rooted in sexism for many.
Monday, June 3, 2002
(Sex/Gender/Sexuality labels = just words?)
A good part of what has destroyed my ENTIRE life is "just a word". I don't believe in "just a word". Words have meanings. I'd gladly do more than fire people for "just a word"... if it were legal. "Guilty", however, is also a word.
Yes, if I owned my own business, I too would fire someone for using the word "Nigger"... I'd warn them first, to be fair, and allow for a few slip ups, but no one who would use the word as a standard part of their vocabulary would last.
(back to my point though) I do not maintain close friendships with people who use sexist language.
Yes, if I owned my own business, I too would fire someone for using the word "Nigger"... I'd warn them first, to be fair, and allow for a few slip ups, but no one who would use the word as a standard part of their vocabulary would last.
(back to my point though) I do not maintain close friendships with people who use sexist language.
defining feminism (for the record)
I'm not going to go too far into this right now... but I just wanted to state this, for the record...
(Internally) I react the same way to hearing words like "chick", "honey" and "babe" coming from a non-feminine person as I do to the word "nigger" coming from a non-black person. It pisses me off, and I actually bring the person down a notch, in so far as my opinion of them is concerned.
I think those "Gender Wars" left some pretty permanent scars on me... and actually, I'm pretty glad they did.
(Internally) I react the same way to hearing words like "chick", "honey" and "babe" coming from a non-feminine person as I do to the word "nigger" coming from a non-black person. It pisses me off, and I actually bring the person down a notch, in so far as my opinion of them is concerned.
I think those "Gender Wars" left some pretty permanent scars on me... and actually, I'm pretty glad they did.
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