The other other half (cont'd)

MtFs don't threaten a man's masculinity and sexuality in the same way FtMs do. I think that MtFs threaten men's sexuality more than their masculinity. With the FtM, the man can write off his physical attraction to the fact that the FtM is really a "girl" and keep on going. With the MtF, the fact that this woman is "really a man" often makes him go ballistic. With the masculinity issues it's different. The Brandon Teena incident was about that, not sexuality. When a man has to reconsider what it means to be a man, and deal with the fact that it has nothing to do with his dick, often he goes ballistic. What happened to Brandon was that those guys decided to show him what a "Real" man was by raping, and then killing him. (Apparently a "real" man is a homicidal dick with legs, but that's another story.)

The same issues come up in the personal lives of transsexuals themselves. I think that it comes up more with FtMs because of the surgical issues. Most FtMs either cannot afford surgery, or will not allow themselves to be mutilated. So, they're left to spending a whole hell of a lot of time tossing the concept around that "man" does not equal "person with long penis and nuts"... or (as I stated previously) "John Wayne".

I've found most MtFs to be very gendered... that is to say, their concept of what a man or woman is physically and the appropriate gender roles for the man or woman are pretty much the same as most non-transsexual people. With FtM's, I've found the opposite. I've met more Transfags then I have heterosexual guys in the FtM community, and even the hetero ones I've met are still pretty open when it comes to whether or not a FtM has had surgery or not, or whether or not a FtM is masculine or feminine in nature. I really think that has a lot to do with the availability of decent surgery... but, as with all things, there are often blessings that come along with the curses. FtMs, because of not being able to surgically correct their bodies, do a lot to help society flush those ridiculous and very often harmful gender roles down the toilet.

Price does have some bearing on how good the result of chest surgery is.... sometimes. All of the guys I saw paid in cash. Some of them had horrible scars. Some of them had nipples under their arms. Some had no nipples at all. The ones who went to the more expensive surgeons weren't as mutilated.

I do think that if the FtM and MtF communities combined, it would benefit everyone. Problem is though, after surgery most FtMs and MtFs just want to disappear into the background. (After a life of hell, who can blame a person for wanting a break?) Pre-surgery, most transsexuals are too busy overcompensating to deal with the sex they are transitioning from. Many FtMs look at MtF's and envy their pre-op anatomy. Many MtF's look at FtM's the same way, and neither of them want to deal with that. Most transsexuals want people to see them as they are supposed to be, not look at them in their deformed state and think that it's just wonderful. Because of this, there is a HUGE rift in the trans community... and it ends up being as polarized as the rest of the world... if not more so. The post-ops barely exist in the community... the pre-ops organize themselves according to sex... and then according to whether or not the gender roles mirror those of the rest of society. For example, it's rare you'll see a non-op, punked-out, transfag allying himself with a post-op, married, businessman, FtM. They bring up too many difficult issues for the other, and so they stay apart.

I don't know that there's a solution to the problem... and I don't know if most people in the GLBT community even think that there is a problem... but from what I've seen, there is. I can only hope that in the future, because of better surgical options and broadening attitudes about sex, gender, and sexuality, things will change. Those still in the wrong color diapers now will eventually benefit from it.