~pensive

Judging by the last eye "flare up", I've got about a week until the eye is completely blind. For now, I still see some light. I can read the screen with my left eye, but that one is going too.

I'm a little scared. I'm scared of a lot of things about this. I'm not wanting to be in the hospital. I'm hoping that I can avoid it somehow.

I don't know that I'd call myself suicidal, but I'm pretty close. In all honesty, I'd rather be dead than blind. My life revolves around my eyes. I wasn't born blind. Adapting is just not an option for me.

I spend a lot of time, recently, thinking about reincarnation... hoping that maybe, if that's what happens, I'll get an easier go of it in the next life. I'll welcome that. This one has just been beyond rough.