I fight when I FEEL like it.

I think a lot of those "canned" reactions (you made reference to) were just emotional outbursts. I know that the first thing I thought/felt was, nuke 'em... but when someone I love is in danger, I tend to react that way.

I spent all of 9/11 as close to tears as I've been in quite a while... not for the loss of life, or the fear, or anything like that. My first thought was, "Shit, if Palestine is responsible for this, my dad is dead." I then walked around like a zombie until my sister got in touch with him, and even after that I still worried. I still worry now, but that's usual. I always worry about him and wish he'd get out of the Middle East.

Now? I'm in limbo, on many levels. I'm just waiting... waiting to see what this "new war" will look like... how it will affect me and my loved ones. I know that it might sound cold that I'm not walking around mourning the WTC, Pentagon, and PA people who died and feeling sympathy for the ones they left behind... but I'm not. I don't know anyone directly affected, and it may as well have been a movie. I know that it's just awful.... oh, how cold and uncaring... whatever. It's a shame. It sucks that anyone has to hurt... but I don't feel emotionally moved because of it. That's just the way I am. I dissociate. It's what I do best.

My life has not changed. I have not lost any loved ones. They say that life will change... more so than usual, I think they mean. So, I'm waiting. In the back of my mind is a bit of anger, because I really liked New York... and someone really fucked up the atmosphere... but there are no violins playing. In truth, there's even a little bit of excitement about it all. It makes life a little less boring, doesn't it?

I'll give my comments on the movie, but it's still just a movie. It hasn't affected me personally.

there, how's that for honesty?