Age

Most people I talk with seem to have the "I shouldn't have made it this far" opinion of themselves. Whether that says a lot about the human race or a lot about the people I talk to, I don't know, but it does seem to be the case.


I think that what brings me back to reality, so to speak, with my age, is not a mirror, but other people. I may feel 16 sometimes (or what I think 16 feels like because that's the way I felt at 16), but all I have to do is be around a 16 year old for a second and I realize that I'm definitely 34.

I also realize it in my attractions to other people. The people I find attractive are about my age. A 16 year old looks like a baby to me. There's no romantic interest there.

"Old people" keep looking younger and younger to me.... that part scares me. Over 40 used to look old to me (when I was a kid). Now 40 or so can look pretty darn tasty, in some cases. Some people in their 50's look old. It's over 70 that's "old" the way 50 or 60 was old to me when I was a teenager.

Am I a "normal" 34 year old? ...am I where I should be, focus-wise and maturity-wise, for a 34 year old? I don't know that I can answer that question. I'd have to ask a few people who are at least a good 10 years older than I am to really know for sure. I've always felt old... or what I perceived "old" to feel like. The older I get though, the more I think that it's just a language thing... it's not that I felt (or feel) "old".... it's tired. Not all "old" people feel tired. There's an epiphany.