honestly (2)

Looking like a teenaged boy... yeah... I looked that way for a good decade or so, and it was a bit annoying. Teenaged boys aren't exactly respected very much.

I guess that what I'm really asking about is the gender stuff. People thought I was a teenaged boy... but my mother countered that with her opinion. I guess that what I'm asking is that, going by that picture, would you think that I was anything other than a teenaged boy? Do I look like a girl in the least? To me, I can't tell. Like I said, I see my mother.

If I slapped that photo up on a random page, would anyone think anything other than "teenaged boy"? If (let's say) your mom saw that pic, would she think "wow, he was feminine featured when he was younger!"?

I mean, I know what people thought. Even my psych records have all the "he's" and "she's" scribbled out in order to correct the "mistakes" of the docs... but I think that in my head, a part of me writes that off to their just either being "old fashioned" or not paying attention.

I trust you. I'm asking you because I know that if I ask, you'll be honest with me. If you said "I would have thought that you were a girl", it wouldn't offend me or hurt me.

See, there's still a part of me that thinks that people will look at me and think that I'm not "normal"... that I'm really a "girl". Not just looking at old photos, but looking at me now. I think that people are "just being nice" or they "can't put their finger on it" but see something "off".


deep scars