~16 candles

It's my nephew's birthday tomorrow... the one I'm forbidden from seeing... the one who's been raised being told I'm a freak by his pedophile of a father. I wasn't allowed to see my sister either, not after about maybe a year of their son being born. My sister "wasn't allowed" to have contact with me and she didn't protest a whole hell of a lot. We both did what we felt we had to do in order to have people love us and want us around. In her case, keeping her mouth shut was something she felt she had to do. Why she still keeps it shut, I don't know. Maybe she forgot what she wanted to say.

After my sister left the pedophile, I think it was sometime in '94 or '95, I managed to see my nephew once, by showing up at my sister's dorm room. The kid really really liked me, as he did when he was first born. I really really liked him too.

When he went home to his dad, and his dad found out that I'd seen him, all was not well. His father took him to a shrink to make sure that he really did like me, and that being around me wouldn't damage him horribly. The result was that my nephew forgot all about liking me. To this day, his "memories" of me are not good... and no one is trying to change that by telling him the truth.

Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.


Happy 16, Sean. Here's hoping you can rise above. I heard we're a lot alike. That makes me smile.