~How not to be a loser

If someone you want, wants someone other than you, it makes you a stand-by, a second choice, a back up. Does it really make sense to want someone who could only ever see you as a booby prize? Do you think that the fact that you think so poorly of yourself is going to make you attractive to anyone other than a shrink? It's not tenacity or loyalty to "wait for" someone. If you had that person, even for a minute, and that person went elsewhere, having that person again does not mean that the person finally saw the light. It means that you're getting someone else's left overs.

I spent about 20 years playing this game with myself. I came up with every excuse and delusion in the book. Anything but let go of my ghost/saviour/surrogate mother. Anything but stop waiting... stop wanting. I couldn't find esteem enough to admit to myself that I saved myself. It was so much easier to give all the credit to someone else. That way, I could continue happily beating myself up for everyone.

If you want to end the game sooner, start looking for what you truly want and quit looking at what you thought you had. Stop waiting. It doesn't make you look noble or loyal. It makes you look like a pathetic loser.