~The Ninth Month

I'm not sure that I won't be going back to bed, but I'm up, for the moment.

The movie people have been in touch with me, and I have to decide what I want to do about that. There's something about it that doesn't feel right to me. I fear that I'm putting off talking to them simply because of not wanting to say "no". I suppose I'll give it some more thought before I give them a final answer... make sure that my heart and head are in the right place about all of it.

It's September. I wanted to concentrate on certain things this month. At the top of the list is cutting back on the smoking and drinking. There are many reasons why I want to, not the least of which is that I need the money to start mailing my stuff out West. Problem is that I still have a couple more months of intense boredom and solitude to get through. I tend to smoke and drink a lot more when I'm idle. I also wanted to concentrate on the more tedious aspects of purging. The writing is waiting for me to go through, and the photographs, and the financial records.

Everything will get done. I'm just anxious. I wish that I didn't have to deal with it. I wish I were just there already. Makes me want to crawl back into bed. Time passes more quickly when you sleep, sleep disorder or no.

maybe just a nap...