~Still sore

I hesitate to write about the realities of my life. I don't want to give that CUNT anything to run with. She set things up really well, made it so that I'd blame myself if anything went wrong. At the time, I loved her. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for her. I trusted her when she said that if anything did go wrong, that she'd help me make sure I was just as ok as I was before I moved out there. Liar. She didn't even offer to help pay my brother for the train ticket he had to buy for me (which I'll be paying him back forever for).

I found out, the other day, that the housing program I took myself off of in order to move across the country to be with her... yeah... oops. That program has a 14 YEAR waiting list now.

I've applied all over this area. I'm tired of waiting, and paperwork, and repeatedly kicking myself for trusting someone. I'm tired of being homeless.

Yes, I'm grateful for that train ticket, and for my best friend's help... and seeming forgiveness, and for the generosity of my best friend's mother, whose roof I'm crashing under. Yes, I'm glad that I'm not yet literally on the street, and that what little I do have, my own ass included, has a roof over it, albeit someone else's roof. Mostly though, the pure hatred of that cunt who lied to me and manipulated me into the worst position I've ever been in... that trumps it all, where feeling is concerned. Yes, even the daily ass kicking I give myself for being stupid enough to fall for it is nothing compared to the daily plague-wishing I do in that cunt's direction.

Yes, I do pray that one day... she'll see the bottom, and I pray that she'll not even see it coming.