Onward in therapy (3)

Would you bother telling your story to anyone if you didn't want them to take your side?

absolutely.

I'm not telling my crap in order to get her to side with me. I'm telling it in an attempt to get a more objective opinion.

What else would you do with that negative perspective but hurt yourself even more?

Learn and grow.

It just doesn't matter.

It does to me. If she's reacting to what I'm telling her because it is indeed rather extreme, as opposed to reacting to something within herself that I inadvertently drew her attention to, there's a big difference. One instance makes me justified in my pain, the other, entertaining at best.

I want to feel validated, not interesting. I want to know the truth about my own reactions... whether or not they're justified... whether or not my being hurt by people is just because of my being weak. The only person who can give me those answers that I'll actually take them from is someone who has heard the whole story and has the opportunity to compare it to the situations and reactions of others with similar histories.


If I am weak, I can get stronger. I can handle that, if it's the truth. If it's not my weakness (or stubbornness or rebelliousness or manipulative nature) that put me in the "disabled" category, then I want to know that without a doubt. I want to know, so that I can survive without shame and hate without guilt.