(Input/Output) 2 (CB)

I really do think that despite all the raw nerves, it is possible to discuss "serious issues" if it is done with patience. Yes, people may snap, but I think that it's ok to snap. The trick is to snap, catch your breath, then come back and explain yourself or express yourself in a way that people will be more open to listening to (reading). You can edit the original snap, clarify it, or anything else you need to do. Everyone has opinions, and if we don't voice them, we lose out. If I disagree with you, we can either agree to disagree, or attempt to support our beliefs in hopes of "enlightening" the other person. If we simply stay silent, or storm off the board the minute someone snaps, everyone else loses the benefit of our perspective, and we lose the benefit of expression. If someone reacts negatively to what you say, try explaining yourself. It that doesn't work, just apologize for hurting the person's feelings, if you're sorry that you did, and carry on. You might also call the person on being defensive... if the eggshells allow for it.

There's nothing wrong with stating what you know, even if it differs from other people's opinions. If you believe in something, you believe in it. If we don't know what it is that you believe in, we don't know how to communicate with you without possibly offending you. Sometimes a comment made in jest does not necessarily reflect the attitude or belief of the jester. So, if, for example, I make a joke about Christians, it doesn't necessarily mean that I think all Christians are a joke, and hence think that you're a joke... BUT... if I know that it is a touchy issue for you, I might not make the joke and find another way to express myself. Until you allow people to get to know you, you can't blame them too much for hitting a nerve. Not that you shouldn't express yourself when a nerve is hit, but once you've calmed down, it might be a good thing to keep in mind.

I agree with the brick wall comment... there's a lot that I feel that way about, but for some odd reason (maybe I'm a masochist?) I keep doing it. You may think that it's easier for people if you stay silent, but maybe you should do what's best for yourself in this. If you try, at least you can say that you tried. To reach one person might be worth a few bumps on the head.

It's a tough call for me. On the one hand, it is my board, but on the other, it's my responsibility to make it a place that is comfortable for everyone. As for saying things 12 times... well, honestly CB, you're not the only member on the board. Just because you heard it 12 times doesn't mean everyone has. Some people might not have heard it at all, and with something I feel is that important, I tend to prefer that everyone I have to deal with has heard it. Call me selfish, but with some issues in my life, not saying anything is not something I can do and still maintain a shred of respect for myself. You might not ever be able to relate to my experiences, but that doesn't mean that you won't get anything out of hearing about them... and if nothing else, I should think that a person who calls themself my friend would be interested in the things which might affect me, simply because they do.

You have to do what you need to do for yourself, but... I think that one of the things that led up to your being banned and your being offended was that you don't allow people to get to know you, and so your words and actions are easily misinterpreted as attacks, and we don't know how to avoid pissing you off in the first place.

Yes, you do show up to support people, but... if people don't know you, why do you think that your words will reassure them? If you don't open up to people, they'll never feel safe opening up to you, and your words will seem empty. Most people need to feel that a person cares, and if the person does not open up it is often interpreted as not caring enough to trust. It's one of those "actions speak louder than words" types of things.

CB, you CAN write or say whatever you want, but so can other people. If someone jumps at you for a comment you make, that's their right... and it's your right to clarify that comment if you feel they misunderstood you. If who you are really is an unfriendly person, that's fine, but then be ok with that. If you're ok with that, then it shouldn't bother you when someone accuses you of being unfriendly.

At least your trying to pay attention to it, CB. A scene-stealing, psy-vamping, glory-hogging thread crash makes me nuts... but it's a lot worse when the person who posted it doesn't even care that they might be doing it. If we can all start picking up some of the eggshells in here, it might happen that eventually it can be pointed out without risking losing a member/friend.

As for this, "I have learned more, grown more, been exposed to more, from this board alone, than just about any other thing since I left college. This board is one of the most challenging and thought provoking atmospheres I've ever seen." It makes me very happy that you have had that experience, and I'm glad if I had anything to do with it. I'm glad that you respect my opinion, and that what I think of you does matter. It does matter what you think of me as well, but I do have to say... if I knew more of your opinions, it might be easier for me to able to respect them.

I walk on eggshells with a lot of people. I hope to stop doing that... but I think I have to take it one person at a time.