~18 part 2

December 5, 1987 10:35 PM

Here I sit with a quart of Miller. I'm tired, frustrated, and confused. I feel violent, yet I feel like giving up. I hate what life is, I hate society and the ignorance it stands for. I don't want to die, I just want to really live not merely exist.

There's Polly, and I do love her, but the whole damn situation is beginning to be a bit tiresome. There's nothing I can do for her, and she refuses to do what she can help herself. She has to kiss ass and won't, she has to lie. She's 15 years old and has no choice, it's lie or get locked up. It's sad, but it's the truth.

I always get myself into these stupid relationships that emotionally tear me apart. I guess I ask for trouble, I don't know.

I guess it's the beer, maybe it's making me depressed. Ugh.