Help Wanted

All the logic is there...

Logically I know

You can't take it with you.
If the house went up in flames, you could survive without it.
If it's that important, you'll remember it.
You don't need to prove yourself to anyone.


...but still there's this problem.

It's not pack-rat syndrome.
It might be a fear of memory loss.


I can't seem to throw out the writing.

There are thousand of pages. About 10,000 or so. Literally.

I have journals and calendars and poetry and snippets on bar napkins. I have letters and notes and cards and school papers. I have web pages and forums and e-mail and my board archives.

I have everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

What for? What am I saving it for? I'm so busy saving, I don't have time to read it. What's it worth? If someone doesn't know I care about them, showing them that I saved every word they ever wrote to me won't prove that to them... if they don't care about me, showing them that I saved every word they ever wrote to me won't make them care!


I don't know what to do. I don't know how to detach. I don't know how to STOP saving.

...but yet a big part of me wants the damn house to burn down.


help?