Guilt by association

I once said to CB, "I don't want to move to Atlanta, because I don't want to be Gay."

I don't know that it's an entirely accurate statement, because being Gay in Atlanta would be doable... just not the burbs.

Here's a wonderful bit of honesty from the mind of the ever-so-private Follows Ravens:


Although I'd not let fear stop me from finally partnering with someone, it may well stop the partnership from forming in the first place.

Is it "guilt by association"? Maybe... or maybe it's just logical fear.


I live my life in fear. I'm "Intersexed" and carry a "Mentally Disabled" label. I fear doctors, cops, EMTs, Paramedics, courts, jail, the general public, and hospitals for good reason. To sum it up, if something happens to me, and it's likely that it would, it's the word of a lunatic against the word of the "sane"... so, not only will I be abused, molested, raped, beaten, etc., there's nothing I can do about it afterwards.

For those of you who think this fear is unsubstantiated, you could do some reading. You can also just take my word for it. It's happened to me before, and that's a good part of the reason why the fear is there in the first place.


That said... I'm VERY reluctant to add "FAG" to my list of Achilles heels. In a city, it's safer, so I'd be more likely to just say "what the fuck", but in the burbs or a rural area? I don't know that I would. I have an advantage. To look at me, and to speak with me, I seem like an ordinary guy. I go to great lengths to keep it that way. I'm "out" where it's safe to be "out".

If I were an "ordinary guy", I wouldn't think twice. I'd proudly walk down the street, any street, holding the hand of another guy. As I am though, it's not a simple fear of "gay bashing" or "harassment". What could happen to me surpasses that to quite an extent. This is not to downplay the severity of Gay bashing. It's just because of my life experience that I know that being "bashed", although horrible, is something that, if it didn't kill me, I could live through. Same with being "harassed".

Just use your imagination and think of the worst that can happen, what you imagine happening is most likely what would.


So, in answer to the (implied) question of whether or not I would partner with someone who (or whose appearance) would "out" me... Probably not, not until the world changes enough to have it not mean risking even more hell.