mood this - and add it to your tally

10:55 - I just wanted to share some last thoughts with you. I debated even posting this, but... fuck it. I'm pissed, I'm allowed to be pissed, and I'm allowed to express that I'm pissed. Yes, I'll get over it. I usually do... but I'm not ending this with allowing you to be a complete prick and me being silent.

9:15 pm
I'm staring at the screen, unable to form words that accurately convey what I'm feeling.

The word "Unfuckingbelievable" came to mind.

Banning you came to mind.

Leaving it up to someone else to say something to you crossed my mind, but that didn't work the last time.

Taking 9 hours to address you seems a bit pointless. It doesn't matter what I write, it doesn't matter.

Some insults came to mind.

I'm tired. Above all else, I'm tired.

9:45 pm
Do you REALLY think that I give a rat's ass how you feel about (dad-unit)? Do you thnk I care whether or not you, or ANYONE else here likes him, you pretentious, self-centered egotistical fuck!? I've spent the last 33 years attempting to get someone to make a fucking effort in my life, and you think that "because you like him" I'm going to alter whatever I'm doing to suit you?!?!?! Who the FUCK do you think you are!?!?!?!

Do the math, asshole! I have MPD! He's my FUCKING DAD!!!! What sort of a complete DICK are you?!?! Do you have ANY clue how much it even took me to get where I am with him now!?!?!


Do you think that ANYTHING that happens on this board even COMPARES to what role (dad-unit) plays in my life?!?!?! HE FUCKING LIVES IN ISRAEL. ALL I HAVE IS "ONLINE"... HE'S NOT POSTING!!!!!! How much time have I spent talking to you about doing whatever I can to get him to come home? Did you conveniently FORGET all that?! He's NOT here. He's STILL there... and I don't even get to read his fucking posts!!! Do you REALLY think for a MINUTE that I want to tell him that I have to delete him?!?!??!

Can't you just fucking THINK?!?!

Here's a good definition of "family"...

People I'll kill over.

10:15 pm
I wonder if I should not post for a few days. I wonder how happy it'll make you... how you'll feel and react.

I don't know if I can post this. People might get the wrong impression of (dad-unit)... about the past stuff, I mean. Yes, he fucked up. He admitted he fucked up... we've spent YEARS working on most of that shit... but if you envision the worst case scenario, it's off. He didn't, well... you know... do anything like that. This isn't where I want to go into my shit though. I just don't want people to get the wrong idea.


10:45
Give A. my regards.


This topic is now closed (with permission)

J., thanks for the attempted help.
RBW, feel free to start a new topic... if necessary... and thanks for letting me lock up this one.

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11:10 PM
I hope that he figures out that all he has to do to read is logout.

By the way, it's the same with "deleted" members. Being deleted means that you just have to reapply to post. You can still read.

Ah well, whatever.


I'm done being treated like crap.

p.s. -

and THANK YOU TOO RBW

thanks to everyone who tried to help.