I get ticked off...

I don't know why.

I'm not sure how the me being a "raw nerve" thing started. It might have been CB saying something to me... it might have been me saying something to CB. I don't really remember.

I don't know that it's that I'm a "raw nerve". Sometimes I think I am... but that's rare. Most of the time, I just say that because it's the only way people can understand my reactions to things.

I don't know if it's that I just see things differently than most other people do, or that I just actually speak up about it. I don't understand why people don't see what I see or perceive things the way I do.

I remember once, about 17 years ago or so, I was sitting up on the roof of the house I was squatting in with my friend Paradox... I think that's where I was... it's an old memory...

anyway...

I looked out over the city, and all of a sudden felt some horrible mixture of sadness and anger. I went into some rant or another about a giant plastic bubble... and how one day we'd all eat one another because there'd be nothing else left.

Odd how much we stay the same, no matter how much we change.


I'm sorry that I seem to snap a lot. I don't like it when I hurt people's feelings. I just find it rather difficult to not express myself when I feel something strongly... and I seem to feel most things rather strongly. I try to control myself. Unbelievable as it may be, I only post about half of what actually goes through my mind when I read... and only about 1/10th of the topics I want to post. I do try. I'm sorry if I end up posting things that come across as hostile. Although I often do actually feel hostile, it's usually not towards the people on (my) board, but just hostility in general... towards the world, towards humanity, towards life... just in general.


ok... I'll shut up now.