So far... (4)

Still tossing ideas around in my head about another section. Been thinking about the whole religion thing a lot. I did a reading on Samhain, and my "concentration card" was the 10 of Swords. Been reflecting on that and think that I might understand it a bit. I was asking about people's definitions of what a "calling" is... and then I started thinking about the card... My thought was that maybe what "triggers" us, what really sends us off into some other place... maybe that's what a calling is. Something you have no choice about... something you cannot ignore. It's not necessarily something you like, or want to do... it's something you have no control over... something that you have to answer.

My biggest trigger? The bible. Bible thumpers. The patronizing and proselytizing, brainwashed, sheep-like people. That's my 10 of Swords. That's my "Nightmare". That's what sends me right over the edge.

My thought was then... perhaps I should let myself go over that edge. Perhaps that edge is merely a bridge. Perhaps, as with many others in my life, this fear is there to conquer, not to run or hide from. It's myself I fear... a part of myself. It's what is in the brain... It is what I think might make me insane.


...I'm rambling.

This leg of my path started the day I first went online. It started with the word "Vampire" being typed into a computer. The blood is the life, yes?

I'm still rambling.

I'll stop.


but I'm still thinking.