~Bonus Level

It's cold.

I suppose that it's just that time of year, again. Time to get out the coats and blankets. This year will be better, for me, than the last few. This year, I can actually use my heat. The rent here may be twice what my rent in PA was, but here, the electric is included. This is a very VERY awesome thing.

I'm only half awake. I've been sort of muddy for the last couple of days. I'm assuming that it has to do with the change in the weather. I go back and forth between feeling overwhelmed and feeling borderline brain dead.

I have to get back to the place where I can just be ok with doing one thing every day. Even if it's just getting a shower, or doing my dishes, it's something. It's tough to hang onto that, though. Most days, "I got a shower, did my dishes, and took the trash out" just doesn't cut it. See, things like that don't really get you anywhere. All they do are sustain... and what keeps a person like me from opting out of life is the feeling that, perhaps, they're getting, or going, somewhere. Progress. There's a big difference between progressing and just being. Then... perhaps all "being" is, is progressing towards death.

Maybe that's why video games are so popular with my generation. They make us feel like we're getting somewhere... accomplishing something. There's a "holy grail"... a "high score"... there are levels... a "quest". ...and all from the comfort of the living room, or bedroom. Shoot, we can even "get the girl", in the end. Makes you wonder though, what is it doing to the "evolution" of the brain? ...the brain of a warrior, in the body of a slug. No real anything to do battle with. No real use for a body. Perhaps, that's why our bodies are breaking down. Maybe that's why we're attacking our own selves. Cancer, MS... it's all the same. Our bodies just don't make sense anymore. All we are, are brains... perhaps, all we are, are Spirits. This whole "body" thing?... maybe we're just outgrowing it.