~Touchback

Just spent an hour doing, what I'm sure amounts to, CPR on my modem. I have no idea what the hell was wrong with it, or how the hell I fixed it, but I seem to be online, so I guess I did something right.

There's a football game on. Patriots. I don't know if I'll ever get used to this whole living in MA thing. I know that it seems completely trivial, but watching Eagles' games was something I enjoyed. It was "turn the brain off" time for me... or at least, shift the brain to low gear.

I suppose it's all about the whole "home" thing. Settling into having Massachusetts as the place I call "home" is doing some funky shit with my head. I'm just like that... a bit of a "loyalist". Fuck, if I wasn't, I sure as shit would've left ~Blog by now.

I suppose that when things go badly, I'm just more inclined to wait it out or attempt to fix it, as opposed to leaving. There are many situations in which this characteristic is a bad thing though. There are many situations in which this amounts to my being just plain stupid, rather than admirably tenacious.

See, I can't ally myself with Massachusetts... not without squashing my Philly pride, and I can't keep my Philly pride without hoping to return. That Philly pride and the hope of getting back home... it's a part of who I am. Even if it's playing the lottery and hoping to win enough money to return to Philly, either the hope is there, or it's not. Without that hope? I don't know. Without hope, I don't have much keeping me going at all.

Yes, all this over a fucking football game.

Get over it.