~not dead yet

Yesterday and last night were really rough. Scary. At the moment, I'm still bad, but I'm REALLY trying hard to keep going.

The doctor called and informed me that there was no sign of infection in my urine, but that the results of the cultures haven't come back yet. Basically, my urinary tract is just suffering from "oh shit. we have MS" syndrome. That is to say, it's on its way out. woohoo.

It's tough to explain how I'm feeling, symptom-wise. There's something MAJOR going on with my eyes. It's not really my eyes, just the part of my brain which controls them. I think that it amounts to me going blind, but I'm trying not to think about it too much. I'm just pretending that it'll eventually clear up. Maybe the solu-medrol will help. I can hope. Out of everything, losing my eyesight will kill me. My life revolves around my eyes. It may not be much of a life, Internet and TV, but it's all I've got, and I've made the most of it.

The pain travels. The dizziness is pretty constant. I'm pretty nauseous. The legs are bad. The ears ring, pretty much, non-stop.

I watched "Dying Young" last night/this morning. It sucked. I hated it. I thought it might be a good movie to watch, given my current circumstances, but all it did was annoy the piss out of me (thankfully, not literally). It was classist, and completely unbelievable, in my opinion.

I miss "Dead Like Me". I really liked that show.