January 20, 2006

10:21 AM - 1/20/06
~another morning

(actual time is @10:15AM)

I'm feeling pretty crappy. There's a lot that I want to do, but it's taking a considerable amount of effort even to write this.

Sometimes "things happen for a reason" is enough to keep me going, but sometimes all "things happen for a reason" does is imply that there are things like God, Ghosts, and UFOs. That's not such a good way for me to be thinking. Thinking that way leads to my being completely delusional.

I suppose that I could have just walked away. I was given the opportunity to do so. I couldn't though. I'm not really the type to walk from anywhere without a goodbye.

Got a real spooky feeling after typing that last sentence.

Best I not let my head go there.

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7:43 PM - 1/20/06
bookmarks

Before I moved here, back in August, I backed up my "favorites". I stored them in one of my e-mail accounts. So, I have those. I don't have any links or other info that I collected since August though. This sucks.

As a note to people reading here, if you want to give me your info, I'd appreciate it. Just drop me a ~mail, or an e-mail (if you have my address), if you'd rather not post it here.

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9:50 PM - 1/20/06
~in other news

Friday, January 20, 2006 9:50 PM

I'm going downhill. The right eye is going again. The pains are more frequent and more intense. Spasms, or "myoclonic jerks", or whatever they're called are more frequent. My legs are buckling so often that I have to use the cane in the house. The rage is there, it comes and goes in spurts. My ears are still ringing. The paranoia got me to blow up my computer.

I'm not entirely scared, but I just wish that it wasn't all so long and drawn out.