February 15, 2006

6:37 AM - 2/15/06
~Thank You ~blog people!!!!

YAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

My archives are fixed!!!!!



WOOHOO!!!!!!

---

12:10 PM - 2/15/06
~Same doody, different day.

Feeling a little nervous. Been waiting on Neurodoody-head for almost 2 days now... waiting on the t-spine results. Part of it is curiosity, the other part is the need to know, so that I can figure out what I'm doing here.

My eye is really bad today. Pain last night. Coordination is seriously poor. The kitchen floor got half of my toasted cheese and tomato sandwich, just now. My bed (where I eat) got some too.

Neurodude seems more focused on new lesions than on lesions that were already there, and are still active. I assume that makes sense on some level, but I have no idea what level that is.

The whole "there's nothing that can be done" and "it's Progressive" thing is just, sort of, settling in. You say, "I'm dying.", because you feel like you're dying. Then, all of a sudden there's that voice in your head that says, "No, Jon. You're really dying. This disease is actively killing you.", and you start to get more than a little nervous.

I don't have any lesions on the brain stem. I think that what that means is that before it kills me, if it continues to progress, and doesn't attack the brain stem, I'll be a fucking vegetable. I don't know that I'm at all interested in that.

I don't know if I'm at all interested in even thinking about that.

---

4:55 PM - 2/15/06
~WAY over this shyte

Almost 5, and still nothing.

I hate this shit.

I am NOT a very patient person. (As if you couldn't tell. Right?)

I think that this shit has to stop.

No more tests. No more waiting on results. No more wanting opinions.

If I don't go into the ER, fuck all of it. Fuck the MRIs. Fuck the "what should I do?"s. Fuck all of it.

I've got a fucking lesion with Neurodude's name on it.

---

5:51 PM - 2/15/06
~off I go

ok, it's almost 6.

I'm heading into the hospital. They're going to try and save my sight in my right eye. woohoo.

Check with RavensWings, I suppose. I'll ask her to post updates, if she can.



Have a beer for me.