February 25, 2006

9:05 AM - 2/25/06
~ugh

I've had better mornings.

This blog is SO not helping.

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10:16 AM - 2/25/06
~I'm just saying "no".

I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist, and the whole drug industry thing just doesn't sit well with me. We're a drug addicted nation. To me, there's no real difference between legal drugs and illegal ones, except that with the illegal ones you risk getting put in jail.

I've gone through life feeling that if I'm going to put a chemical into my body, it better make me feel good. The whole "you have to keep taking it" thing reeks of "we want to addict you", to me.

If you take a drug for 3 months hoping to feel better, then you suddenly do, how do you know it was the drug that did it, and not time that did it? Now, your body is addicted to the drug. You're guaranteed to have a bad reaction if you stop taking it, and will blindly think that you NEED the drug. While taking the drug, if you suddenly feel bad, they "adjust your dosage"? Great, now you need MORE of the drug.

It hasn't been proven to work? Well, try it anyway, it might work. Huh?

I recently lost coverage for the Inderal they hooked me on. They changed the scrip to Propranolol. I took one and all but blew my toilet up with what it did to me. I stopped taking it. I'm now drug free. The only chemical I put into my system that I have to get from the drugstore is testosterone, and that's a substance that my own body doesn't make, although it should. It's an actual NEED.

In truth? I actually feel a little better. I don't feel so drugged.

Pain? I can handle that. I've been handling this MS thing for decades without medications. Now that they have a name for it, they suddenly want to hook me on drugs? Before, they were trying to hook me on Psych meds, now it's the rest of them.

but...

Next week, I'm supposed to have another course of Solu-Medrol. That's some EVIL stuff.

I'll do it, but this is the last time. After this, it's only "as needed" meds for me. If it doesn't work immediately, it's garbage to me.

I think I'd rather just keep suffering than suffer and let already rich people get richer off of me. The fact that people are happily getting rich off of the anguish of others is part of what I think is truly evil about humanity.

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7:55 PM - 2/25/06
~Sorry for the mess

The layout of, and colors on, my blog are driving me bonkers, so I'm working on a few things.

It might just be my eyes acting up, but I don't know. It's been bothering me ever since the whole ~blog re-do.

My apologies

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8:58 PM - 2/25/06
~I'm working on it.

I think that I have to walk away from the computer for a bit. It's now almost 10pm. I'm going crosseyed. Your input would be greatly appreciated. (Sorry, can't get it back to the way it was though.)