April 15, 2006

10:57 AM - 4/15/06
~I never denied it

(old writing, part of the Scraps project)

I'm a drunk
I'm not reliable
I'm selfish
I cannot be trusted
I've got too many issues
I'm full of fear
Often, I feel nothing
I'm impulsive
I'm compulsive
I see truth as transient
I'm suicidal
I'm masochistic
I'm loyal only to myself
I'm paranoid
I'm negative
I'm a flirt
I'm chronically depressed
I'm angry
I'm too sensitive
I complain too much
I'm socially unacceptable
I'm socially inept
I'm legally insane


4:09 PM - 4/15/06
~the usual ouch

I have a really bad headache. It's not that I don't want to write, it's that every time I try to, my head screams at me.

My head. Yeah. It's not doing so well. I really am trying to stay aware... trying not to fall... trying to keep the monster at bay.

Doesn't feel like I'm doing a very good job though.


6:23 PM - 4/15/06
the elusive book

So, I'm giving more thought to the whole "publishing a book" thing. I'm not sure why.

What is it that I feel a book could accomplish that blogging can't?

I don't even know that I'm able to handle the task. Yes, I have volumes of writing, but it still has to be edited, typed up, and submitted. Sometimes I just want to invest in a video camera and record my conversations with myself. It'd be infinitely more entertaining to others.

I'm really tired today. It's probably not the best day to be thinking on this.