April 20, 2006

5:26 AM - 4/20/06
~wanting for sleep

Been up since about 4am. Only slept about 4 hours total. So, the insomnia continues.

Been trying to think about the book, figure out what makes the most sense. My energy is limited, and my sanity seems to come and go. I'll be doing ok, but then BAM!, I'm a loony toon.

I'm picking up too much. The brain is receiving too much. It's difficult to tell what's coming from where. Seems this month has been brutal for just about everyone. ...transitions... turmoil... anguish... longing... series of moments, all tied together and called a "day"...

It's not spiraling, really. Spirals start and end.It's more like random explosions.

The Wheel spins and spins.

but all that he could see
was the other side of the mountain
the other side of the mountain
the other side of the mountain
was all that he could see


7:45 AM - 4/25/06
Running out of cheeks

Yes, and right after that, my computer died. Answers the question of what I can do.

Until I manage to get another computer, the idea of a book is not even close to a pipe dream.


8:16 AM - 4/20/06
~FUCK ME

Well, it's official. My computer died.

Thank you to RavensWings, who left her laptop here for just this sort of crisis.

Basically, my screen just suddenly went out. I can kind of see that there's something going on there, but not enough to actually do anything.

I swear, every time I get a bad feeling about things...

Stay tuned, I guess. I'll do what I can to figure this out.


9:48 PM - 4/20/06
~Crazy Shit

This is me... NOT cutting... NOT.. NOT...NOT cutting.

Are you proud of me? Are you? ARE YOU!!!?!???!!!


You're a fucking asshole.

That makes me an even bigger one...

because

I'm going to slice myself as deep as you've hurt me.

bitch

Suck that up through your haze.