April 6, 2006

7:35 AM - 4/6/06
~screw "equal to"

I just have to say, before this day begins, that I have no clue why I'm bothering with going to see Neurodude, other than because the appointment was scheduled.

Other than prescribing drugs which won't do me any good, there's nothing he can do. That's all that most doctors are anymore... drug pushers. Not that I have a clear idea what I think they should be, other than that.

I think that I might have to start planning my next delusion. I used to get through the MPD shit by just knowing that I was an advanced human being... that I had evolved further... it wasn't a disease, it was a gift... I wasn't sick, I was superior. Well, it got me through. Not sure how to get back there though. When the rage creeps in, thinking that one is superior can be quite dangerous.

Have to be inferior today. I have this appointment, and Nessie has been asking to see Chairy recently.


6:16 PM - 4/6/06
~Maybe, if I put the Detrol in my ears...

So, as I expected, the appointment was, pretty much, a waste of time. He asked about my symptoms, I told him about them, and he suggested this, that, or the other medication... and this, that, or the other specialist. The appointment ended with me agreeing to reconsider consulting with the Neuropsych, and a prescription for Xanax, which may as well be Pez, with the dosage it's written for. I'm to see him in 5 months, before which I'll have another MRI, unless I end up entering the hospital, if things get too bad. He still attempted to argue for the Solu-Medrol, but I just translated whatever it was he was saying about it into "blah blah blah".

He apologized for the whole ER mess. That, I was happy he did. He also told the story of the evil Neurocrunchy to the Med student who was in with him today. We all had a good chuckle about the "try putting tissue paper in your ears" solution to the "I have recurring Hyperacusis, and have had it for (it has to be) decades now." I dunno, maybe it was the rather animated "That never occured to me! You're a genius!" line I added into Neurodude's narrative.

So, anyway... what it boils down to is that I have MS, this is my life, and it doesn't get better, woohoo. All they can do is try to treat the symptoms, and if I'm a stubborn prick about taking the latest meds, because I don't want to play the game, then it's on me. Dude really needs to stop talking to drug reps though. I'm starting to be able to predict what he'll recommend next because of the amount of tv I watch.

My blood pressure was high, per usual. I'll talk to my primary about that in May (if I really want to). I think it was 140 over 100 today. Pulse was 100. Then, I hadn't eaten, and that place stresses me out a bit. Sensory overload.

Nessie didn't get to hang out with Chairy, but she waved to Chairy's cousin while we were getting out of the car so that the valetdude could park it.

Have to remember to apply for one of those nifty handicapped parking placards. Even though I don't drive, I can use it in whatever car happens to chauffeur my sorry ass around. Even if I'm doing ok that day, it'd be nice to give the parking perk to RavensWings while I'm in the car with her. No one pays her to do this for me.

I reassured Nessie that she'll probably see Chairy soon.

Summer is coming.