comment/reply from "oops"
awsum story, man you've inspired me
Tough to reply to you. If you're being sarcastic: Maybe read the rest of my blog. Judging by your blog, you might actually get something out of mine. If you're being honest: thanks for taking the time to read my blog.
5:39 AM - 12/13/05
~yummy
Something tells me that I won't manage to hook up the printer today. If I'm lucky, I'll manage to eat. There's a headache brewing, but I don't know if it's from last night's Bloody Mary fest or what.
Had an interesting comment on last night's blog entry. I think that part of it was actually pretty comical... something akin to "feeding off of myself". The way I see it, it's much better for a Vampire to do that than to feed off of everyone else. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Ahhhh... I feed off myself. Yes, indeed. I sort of have to though. Having a disease like MS can do that to a person. The only safe place that doesn't completely drain me is my own head... and many days, even being safely tucked away in there makes me want to give up.
The part where my writing was compared to vomit... well, all I can gather from that is that the person was a little jealous. Either that, or maybe they ate something rancid for supper. There aren't many things I can still do, but writing is one of them... and I write rather well, or so I'm usually told.
I suppose that I could have just deleted the comment, but then, what would I have had to feed off of for an entry? Myself? Yeesh. That would be horrible.
9:04 AM - 12/13/05
The hit count (9)
43,796
8:03 PM - 12/13/05
(What's up with me)
Just been in bed all day. Really tired, and not feeling well.
8:14 PM - 12/13/05
~Never fine
Was dragging, more so than usual today. Pesky headache. Tomorrow is shot day, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.
Managed to pick the printer up off of the floor. I guess that's something, right?
Not.
Thinking a lot on my diagnosis... still not ok with it. I really think that SPMS is wrong. It's either Primary, or Progressive Relapsing. It's just that there weren't good times in the past. It started, and then got progressively worse, from the start. Sometimes things wouldn't be as intensely bad, but then they'd get worse... more along the lines of the Progressive courses of MS. The more I think about it, and the more I talk with people who have known me for a while, the more I realize that there was never a "good" period. There was bad, and worse, and DANGEROUS. As close I could get to "good" was "delusional".
I'm going to have to really push him, on Thursday, to come to a more solid conclusion. "You don't have RRMS. It's probably a more progressive course." just isn't enough for me. He agreed, "Maybe SPMS", and I was ok with that, because at least he stopped trying to convince me it was RRMS... but at this point, I think that he should be able to give me something a little more concrete. I've seen those line charts at the NMSS website. I know where I don't fit.
I guess that it's about wanting validation... maybe. I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired of people who think that they know me better than I do, and who seem to just want to prove themselves right. Anything but listen to me. Anything but give me the benefit of the doubt.
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