~19

She can't sleep
Her life is buzzing too loudly in her brain
Other times she's drunk
or crying inside
I know
I've lost count of all the beers I've consumed
Whose hurt am I responding to?
Please
Can't we pretend not to feel
Can't we pretend we feel safe
Can't we pretend not to flinch
not to fear
not to care
Drunk attempt at passion
Wish she could breathe easier
Wish there was no stress
Wish I could protect her from her past
from my past
Drunk attempt at love
My brain feels too little
too incapable
Am I one more two faced asshole
One more to laugh at her pain
One more to shut her out
Drunk attempt at understanding
Perhaps becoming an alcoholic is reasonable
Motivation towards temporary happiness
temporary numbness
Please fall asleep
You're reminding me
That I'm awake




CC - 6/93