~Shrinking fuse

Reading back over the Drue stuff, although it makes me a little angry, isn't really breaking me down. I think that either I've finally moved past the pain, or I'm just shut down to it right now. That time period was hellish. It was a different sort of hell though... different from the early childhood hell. My getting out of my mother's house, my time on "the street", the people I met, discovering Hardcore, all of that made me stronger in many ways... but it also made it nearly impossible to function in a "normal" environment like school. Living with Art wasn't too normal. He wasn't around much, and when he was, I was more like a roommate than a son... or, what I perceive to be a father/son relationship just wasn't the case with us. Not that it was all bad, it was like living with a friend, but I don't know if it's what I really needed at the time. The support and guidance was a bit lacking. Too, I was still in a lot of pain... none of the issues had been resolved, I was just further away from the abuse my mom and stepfather had served up, and blocking out the early childhood stuff.

Basically, I was a powder keg, a powder keg whose fuse was lit.

I was a mouthy punk, being forced to be quiet.