~It takes guts

I don't know how I'm going to get through the day, but I want to. I want to not drink any beer today. I want to be able to go a few days without being all freaky.

It might be the alcoholic in me that's saying, "Why torture yourself? Why not drink if you don't have to?" Then, it might just be that it's a good point.

I don't want my life to revolve around beer. You can't drink on a Greyhound bus. It's a drug that works for me though. I've even had my doctor and therapist both tell me to drink. I've had my friends tell me to drink. It just works for me. It makes me calmer, more open, nicer, and funnier. The way I see it, it's no different than taking a daily pill. It just tastes better... and actually works. There have been drugs, legal and not, that I've been addicted to... and stopped for that reason. Too, there's a difference between drinking and getting drunk. There's a difference between using a drug and abusing one.

When something hurts me, or the people around me I care for, I don't do it. Even with smoking... I have a NON smoking room in my apartment. (I wonder how many non-smokers have smoking rooms.)

I wonder why people on Prozac aren't condemned by society.

...and I wonder why the abusive people who don't drink aren't factored in when people start pointing fingers.

I wonder why people blame the symptom, rather than the cause.

I wonder why people don't blame the person, instead of what the person consumes.

Abusive people are abusive. My mother didn't drink. My "father" did. They were both abusive fucks.

I'M NOT.