~Surprise!

The summer of '86 is where Volume One of my journal stops... and Volume Two doesn't pick up for months... but please... allow me to tell you why...

When I dropped out of school, I got a job. Telephone market research. Yes, I was one of those people who call in the middle of dinner and ask you if you like avocados and why. I hated the job, but it was a job, and I was told that I had to have a job.

Things with Drue got tricky. I don't remember all the details and reasons too clearly, but she broke the relationship off. It didn't sit so well with me at all. Yes, I was still in love with her, but I was angry too, and I didn't hide either fact. Even when I went to her graduation, I didn't do a very good job of being nice. I was hurting.

She was heading off to college in the fall, and my friend, Carlyn, was helping to organize a surprise party for her. I was invited. Big mistake.

It was the end of July. Things were "over" between Drue and I, but the hurt ran deep. Just how deep, I didn't know until that night.

Surprise indeed. Drue walked in with her boyfriend. Ouch.

Things get hazy here. I don't remember what happened when.

Drue's boyfriend left.

Drue's other boyfriend showed up.

I was noticeably upset, to put it lightly.

Drue's mother noticed alright, noticed enough to call me into a room and ask what was going on. My answer? "Ask Drue." So, it was one of those, "Drue, get in here." types of things. Drue came in. Drue sat down. Drue lied through her teeth... to my face... to her mother's face.

I was so hurt that I think it was another one of those steel shutter moments.

Boyfriend #2 was staying the night. Carlyn was staying the night. Carlyn was my ride.

I just couldn't do it... looking at them laying there together... I couldn't take it.

I left the house and walked to the nearby train station. I called my shrink to say goodbye, then went down to the tracks and took out my knife.

Hack Hack Hack

Well, I didn't die, obviously.

My shrink called Art who called the cops who went to the wrong train station. Lucky me!

It's blurry... but I made my way back to Drue's house and when I came in, her mom spent a long time talking with me and helping me get cleaned up. I don't really remember much of what she said, except for one thing... she said, "I'm not mad at Drue for being involved with you. I'm mad at her for lying about it."

So, there it was... Drue's mom had asked her about it before, and she lied. I guess, that night, it sucked to be Drue.