602am111205 ~comments

(In You can't see a nod online.)

from fxxxxxxxxx:
Because sometimes I forget what I had intended to say once I try to say something, and sometimes I just don't know what to say.

But I know the feeling when there's no comment to certain things you write, things close to the heart. Sometimes I lie to myself and say that it's alright, after all I'm writing for myself. But then, we all know better. If we were writing for ourselves, we wouldn't have bothered to put it online for all to see, free to be commented on.

You know, at this moment, I already feel like not posting this comment anymore, just close the window and go do something else.

Believe me when I say that there were no notes in that entry because we too, do care how our comments would affect you.

I know it isn't your fault for feeling this bitter. But I'm sure most of the people here reading you, not leaving or leaving notes, even in the stuffings and meatballs entry, really do care for you. I know I do.

from gxxxxxx:
my own habit where blogs like this are concerned is to stay silent unless i *honestly* have something to contribute... something specific to offer that isn't just a reiteration of something i've said before, or that i know you already know. to do otherwise, i feel, would be terribly insulting to you.

your experience is not mine, and i would never pretend to "feel you" in some way i cannot. i can only listen, and hopefully try to return something a little better than "yah dude... i hear that," once in a while.

it's an odd position... i'm watching someone hurt, and possibly die, in streams of text on my screen. what have i, but to bear witness? it is both the least and the most i can do.

if you require more phatic communication, let me know.

---

my reply to fxxxxxxxxx 11.12.05 6:02 am:
Please don't think that any of my ill feelings are directed towards you. Even if I'm a raging lunatic, "fxxxxxxxxx" is nowhere on my list of people I have issues with. In a year and a half, you've been here reading every last word I write, and looking for me if I don't write. You've never been anything but kind to me, and your kindness has not gone unnoticed.

thank you


my reply to gxxxxxx 11.12.05 6:09:
I don't expect you to say a word, really. I like that you read. I like that you write, when you have something to say.

I think that of the many people here, you know what I'm like when my brain goes off.

All I can do is apologize repeatedly. I really am sorry. I don't like upsetting people, or hurling poo in their general direction, least of all the people I respect and care for.