~Home Oh

I've spent large chunks of time, in my life, attempting to define the word "home". The reasons why it was so damn difficult are many. I didn't have a real "home base" as a child, so from day one, the concept was a little difficult for me to grasp. Now? Well, after 36 years of study and whining, I can state where "home" is, and what "home" is.

There's "home", as in "Home is where the heart is", there's "home", as in "where I keep all my stuff", and there's "home", as in "I can't take this life thing anymore. I want to go home."

Where the heart is. That takes some thought, for me. I don't really have the best of hearts. "Love" is transient. Blood is tastier than water, but aside from that, it don't mean a damn thing. I think that, in all honesty, where my heart is, is Online. The Internet is my home, in that sense of the word. The people I think about, and care about, exist here, online. Even if they also exist in my life offline, I can find them here.

Where I keep my stuff. That's pretty easy. I live in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts, in the USA. The keys on my keychain open the locks on the doors here. Bunny lives here. It's a snooty town in the center of the State, with lots of trees, a pond, and a lake. I live in the "armpit". That's about what it boils down to. They have to provide low-income housing, so they designate a building or two for us poor, old, and diseased folks. It's a much nicer armpit than elsewhere. "The Projects" sounds scary because of other Projects in the country, but this Project is a damn country club compared to those.

I can't take this life thing anymore. I want to go HOME. I suppose this definition is the one definition I should use, if I had to choose just one. It comes at the end of the sentiments of, "Fuck the Internet, I'm going out.", and "Get me out of this boring, snooty, slice of Wonder Bread!" Home. Home is Philly. To be more specific, home is "Wash West" in Philadelphia, PA. ..and if I want a vacation, I'll wander to Rittenhouse Square and party with the squirrels and pigeons. I've lived in a lot of different places in Philly, but "home" is the area called the "Gay Ghetto"... roughly, between 8th and Broad Streets and between Market and South Streets, bordering on the neighborhoods of Chinatown to the north, Society Hill to the East, South Philadelphia to the south, and Rittenhouse to the west. I can stretch it a little though, between Front and 19th, and Arch and South. Basically, that's all of Center City though, so if I had to settle on one area, it'd be Washington Square West. If I had to settle on an exact corner? 12th and Spruce. I lived there, once. I still live there. It's where my heart lives, and where Bunny is pissed at me for ever leaving.

If there's a such thing as reincarnation, that's where you'll find me. That's where you found me this time too. That is my home.