~Leaves of Green

21 years ago today, I left "home". "Home" as in, my mother's home. For the record, I neither fault myself for this decision, nor do I regret it. I'm alive. I lived. I did a lot of good. I'm a person that I really, really like. I made myself that way. ME.

...but, onward...

Last night was a really rough night, although the last few days have been relatively good. It seems to happen with my shot. For about 5 days after my shot, I get an energy boost. The next 9 days are a slide downhill though. I took my shot on Wednesday. Today is Sunday. woohoo.

I took a walk. It's nice out. Yesterday was disgusting. The thermometer in here went up to 78, and that was with the windows open. I'm in New England, in November, with my air conditioner on. What's wrong with this picture? Anyway, it's nicer today, and I enjoyed the walk. The leaves are changing and falling. Ok, fine, the real reason I went for a walk is because I was going to run out of smokes. So what? I walked. I like walking. Nessie doesn't mind squashing in the leaves too much.

I feel pretty tired. As I said, last night was rough. A lot of pain... and there's this thing that happens with my heart or lungs. I'm not too sure which it is, but it's been happening for, at least, the last 5 years or so. ...and no, it's not from smoking. My lungs are clear, and chest x-rays verify that. It scares me when it happens. It sort of feels like I forget to breathe or that my heart forgets to beat for a second. I'll just be laying there, falling asleep, and then my whole body jerks, my heart pounds, and I gasp for air. It seems to happen only when I'm falling asleep though. To the best of my knowledge, it doesn't happen when I'm fully awake, or fully asleep. It's scary, because I don't know what it is exactly... I just know that it can't be good.

Dr. Neurodude prescribed me Neurontin to take, as needed, for pain... to see if it will do any good. I think that tonight, I might just try it out. I don't like trying new meds. I don't like meds at all, really... but I think that I might need to take this one for a test drive. I really need sleep.

The Eagles game is on tonight. This is a good thing. It's pretty cool, actually. There have been a lot of Eagles games on here. Maybe it's because of the last Superbowl... maybe it's just New England's way of keeping their eye on the team. Whatever the reason, I'm liking it.

My favorite color is GREEN.