~Fired

Fire.

I think about fire a lot.

Fire, like my temper.
Fire, like when I was a kid.
Fire, like the end of my smoke.
Fire, like the end of my body.

I get scared, with the MS. True, I've slept through smoking. The cigarette has burned my fingers, and I woke up, but I never dropped one. Once, I dropped it down the back of my shirt, while scratching my back... funny I should have that memory... I have that shirt on today. It's Ren & Stimpy... before they were even licensed to sell. I think it's from '91. It was the first day I wore it... my girlfriend, at the time, had bought it for me. I was pissed at myself.

Thinking on it, I did drop one once. ...and of all things, I was sleeping on an air mattress. That's a fucking hysterical story. BIG oops.


I burn myself a lot, while I'm drinking. All of a sudden, I realize I'm burning my fingers. I usually throw the cigarette onto the ground, or floor... and quickly pick it up.

A while back, I gave burning myself a try. That was a rough year. It was pretty cool though... something new... painful as fuck, but a different pain than cutting or whipping... I went into the hospital that year. Never fear.

Right... Fire. I was thinking about fire...

I met a guy, recently, who used to smoke, before the MS took his hands away.

Fuck the writing. The day I can't hold my cigarette, I'm outa here.

Fired.