~blabbering too much today

I'm really tired. I made the stuffing, and put the turkey into the oven. It took 3 hours to do. I don't think that anything is going to turn out right. The bread smelled a little off, but I couldn't tell for sure. My nose is off... and I need my nose to cook well. I feel like I need to go to bed, but I can't. In an hour or so, I have to start the whole basting game.

I'm trying to understand this whole MS thing, and I'm getting nowhere fast. No one understands this disease... not the patients, not the public, not the doctors, and not the scientists. I go through days where I feel like I'm going to drop dead any minute, and then a few hours later, I'm feeling sort of ok. It's like a rollercoaster. Yes, MS can kill you. Is it killing me? Yes... but how quickly, I don't know. I could have another 30 years of this hell.

Maybe I should just count on reincarnation... find a pregnant woman that I like... that I think would be a good mother, with a husband that I think would make a good father, and then just off myself and aim.

I'm just so damn tired.