~bonked

2:49 PM - 3/9/06

I'm not feeling too well today. Haven't had an easy time with sleeping. That's never good. The Solu-Medrol has a lot to do with it. It takes weeks before it's done messing with your system.

So far, I've yet to watch a movie on my new Cinemax pal. The past few nights I passed out even before The Daily Show started. Naps. Periods of being passed out. Not exactly refreshing sleep.

I think that what makes the old writing rather profound is simply how old I was when I wrote it. I don't know that most 13 or 14 year olds spend their time contemplating the nature of suicide, or feel as if they are already "dead". The way I felt, at the time, was a lot like what it feels to be "tripping" on acid. Not that I'd done acid, that didn't happen until a couple of years later, but in retrospect... that's what it felt like. My brain was just off. It would come and go, sometimes during the course of a day, sometimes it would just last for days.

That's how it started though. My brain just sort of went bonkers.