~vice grip

10:23 AM - 3/23/06

I'm completely avoiding the task of reading through stuff from '98. '97 was painful enough.

I don't know if it's MS related, but one of the things my head does, is that it doesn't let things go. It could be that I'm just stubborn. It could be that I'm tenacious. It could be that I'm blindly loyal. It could be that my head is just fucked up. I don't really know. Time is just weird with me. Yesterday feels like 10 years ago, when I can remember yesterday. 10 years ago feels like yesterday. The emotions are still as intense, the events just as clear.

I guess that's why I'm so adamant about resolving things in my life. Some people don't even scar. My wounds don't heal unless I can stitch them up, and even then the scars are deep and visible.

I guess that I can be accused of being one to "hold a grudge", but although that's sort of true, I also forgive rather quickly, as long as the damage isn't still being done. Shoot, I'm even trying to work out my relationship with my mother, and I think that says something about me.

Yeah... so... anyway... that's why I'm avoiding '98. '98 was the year I suddenly thought that playing in traffic made complete sense. A lot was bad in '98. Myself included.