~Cane addicted

7:44 AM - 3/11/06

On a scale of one to ten, one being "I'm going to live forever" and ten being "I'm going to die in half an hour", I'm at about a 4. That is to say that I'm actually feeling pretty good.

I'm not suffering too much from the Solu-Medrol fallout today. My hands are still cracked and raw and itchy, and there are a few other minor complaints, but generally, I feel as good as I did before the treatment.

I'm convinced that the medications are a good part of the problem. I get bad, I take meds, then I get worse. So, fuck the meds. I'll deal with bad, somehow. I have managed to, for a long time now.

Not that I don't love Nessie, but I didn't need her until I did the Solu-Medrol. With me, it's my brain that's screwed, not my spine (yet). There's nothing wrong with my legs, just the part of the brain which receives the signals from them. The calmer I am, the less I fall. The more worked up I get, the more I fall. I rarely have to use Nessie in the house.

I so want to go for a walk today. I'm scared to leave Nessie behind, but part of me wants to. It would just suck to go down and not have her there to help me home.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over Nessie--that our lives had become unmanageable.