...In my estimation - after 31 years of research - NO ONE gets me, most fear me and would love to hurt me, and as much as I attempt to escape my own head, I seem to be one of the few on the planet who has ever even seen what's in their own head... everyone else is too scared to even peek through the keyhole of the door that's up there. People want to stay wrapped in fantasy... they don't want to think, and more than anything, they fear aloneness. Why? Because when you're alone, you have to deal with yourself. Most people are scared shitless of themselves and of reality. The nature of intelligence is self-loathing... and ultimately the loathing of mankind and what it has become.
Do I hate myself? I hate that which mankind has turned me into. I hate that I am dependent upon them. I hate that I have to either depend on those I despise or die. I hate what mankind has become. As a person, a spirit, no - I don't hate myself. The world is full of what mankind has delusionally called good and evil. It's the true evil I despise. The true evil is mankind. My world... my good... is the darkness... the darkness which mankind fears, and so does not tread near. In the darkness I am safe from their fear... and so the darkness is the true light. It is their evilness... their fear... their inability to open their eyes and distinguish between sin, instinct, and love which drives me into the darkness. It is their "sin" which will, or can actually kill me. They like to think that Jesus committed suicide, but what they choose not to see is that they killed him. Ever since then they've changed it all around. What Jesus knew to be the "anti-Christ" has indeed flourished. If Jesus had the opportunity, he'd again be murdered. There is only one place to find Jesus... in the darkness... the darkness which is the true light.
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